Friday, May 01, 2009
Mitosis, Has to be Mitosis
After a great deal of consideration, I have finally developed an hypothesis to explain a phenomenon that is taking place in my home. I am sure that many others have experienced similar, if not the same phenomenon.

To talk you back to middle school science, I have latched onto mitosis, that most elegant process of cell division, to explain what I am seeing.

I am trying to follow the scientific process, (Thank you, Mr. Pilgrim!), but I'm falling down on the last few steps.

The scientific process says that you observe something in nature, pose an hypothesis to explain the observations, and then test that hypothesis, report on the results, and tweak/change your hypothesis based on the results.

For the record, this simple process has largely fallen out of favor in recent years. At least, that is, with those following Al Gore and the Church of Global Warming. Even so, it is the only process that makes sense to me, so that's what I'm going with.

Mysterious Phenomenon in Nature: Multiplication of Toys

Everytime I turn around, there are more toys in our home. Just yesterday, I encountered a new stuffed bear that I have never seen before. As the local purchasing agent of such items, I am immigration control and, don't tell Bunny Boop, but I am also The Grim Reaper. So it came as a shock to find an illegal immigrant in the toys yesterday. I began to wonder if perhaps it wasn't an illegal immigrant, but an anchor baby. Perhaps, somehow, the toys were reproducing.

But of course, this can't be sexual reproduction, right?

So, I began to look for other processes by which I was losing the battle for toy control. And then, it hit me: MITOSIS.

Or, something similar anyway.

Perhaps the bits and bobs of broken toys were migrating toward each other and joining in the creation of new toys.

Unfortunately, I can neither confirm nor disprove the hypothesis. The fact is, I simply don't know how to test it.

I could smash a bunch of toys and see what happens, but I suspect this would be the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand that spurred the Great War in my household.
posted by Phoenix | 9:23 AM


At 9:27 AM, Anonymous valxavier said...

...and it's the same with 'people' too!
I've noticed in recent years that 'unpeople' seem to be forming around us all the time who are quite unlike one's traditional humans of the past. They exhibit no trace of compassion, no sense of humility or sense of awe about existence and are definitely utterly devoid of any semblance of human morality.
I propose that the cell fission mechanism (cfm)responsible for this current epidemic of spontaneous human clones in society has been triggered by the collapse of belief in anything at all humane these days.
It's a good enough postulation as any.

It's either that or all the CO2 from the global warming delusion has adversely affected poor old Homo Sapiens cranium.


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