Tuesday, October 26, 2004
What if...
Before I get into this, I want to preface my statements by saying that in no way am I actually advocating these actions, I'm just wanting to pursue a line of thought.

So, let us suppose that the United States of America were to pull out of NATO and the UN.

Hmmm. (fingers drumming on desk)

The world is such a safe place and all, such alliances taxing American taxpayers detrimentally, blah, blah, blah, just suppose we didn't ante up.

Are the socialist states of the EU and other countries prepared to act in their own defense? I am under the impression that the state of their militaries is...well...if you had to give it a letter grade might be a C-. This is my impression. "Readiness" is not their keyword. Could they repel an invasion? Suppose some meglomaniacal dictator bent on world domination took it upon himself to "clean up and simplify Europe" a la Hitler. Anybody who has every played Stratego knows it is tough to hold Europe. So, I ask again, what if?

Suppose some evil dictator...let's call him Dick... and suppose he is the leader of Luxembourg. Suppose that he decided to "right the wrong" visited upon Luxembourg by Belgium in 1839 when they lost half their territory and invaded Belgium, marching all the way to Bastogne and then holding, seemingly pacifying the World that their intentions were limited to old territory. Belgium was having fits, but the rest of the world seemed okay with it. "The US denounces in the strongest of terms, this unprovoked attack on Belgium and her people," is the word from the US state department, but offers no aid to ailing Belgium, who was caught completely off-guard and has no way to defend herself, save by farmers taking up their pitchforks and shovels.

After some time passes, Dick seeks to pacify and bring stability to Belgium by marching troops all the way to the North Sea, neatly bypassing Brussels, but also giving himself a port, and all of this under the guise of stopping rioting in the Belgian frontier. He continues to leave Brussels alone. Suppose then that the world community sees the newly calmed Belgium as an improvement and again decides to do nothing. The US issues a statement "We denounce this illegal war in the strongest of terms!" but does nothing.

After 4 months of occupying the New Belgium, Dick sends troops into France along her borders with Belgium and Luxembourg, at 6 distinct points, wave after wave taking small French towns completely by surprise. The invasion does not stop for several days until the Lux Legions occupy France from Dijon to Rouen, neatly sidestepping Paris. Dick tells the world that the border move was necessary to seal the border with Belgium against French insurgents coming over the border and terrorizing the fragile peace.

La Belle France appeals to the world that her borders have been defied and that she now lacks the ability to repel the invaders. The PM of France pulls all troops to Paris, in an attempt to prevent the ransacking of the Crown Jewel of France. In a joint appeal, the ambassadors of Belgium and France to the U.S.-less UN demand that the UN and NATO act to end the aggression. Unfortunately, the acts of Luxembourg and Dick's Legions now have the world somewhat nervous, and no major player in the European Theater is willing to send troops to France.

Germany is concerned because she shares a border with both France and Luxembourg and has so far managed to stay clear of Dick's ambitions. The Netherlands are concerned with preventing Dick's advance north and have sent all of their troops to the border, but are unwilling to invade Belgium in the hopes that the New Belgium will be more agreeable to work with on EU matters. Switzerland, in her grand tradition, is feverishly preserving her neutrality, but also is accepting much cash from France and the other European nations for safe-keeping in her banks. The Spanish and British are maintaining that they can't get involved in an "illegal" war, but do wish the French and Belgians well. The Italians are putting on a brave face, but do not yet feel that they are in any real jeopardy.

Secretly Dick has been plotting with Larry of Liechtenstein who in a surprise move, publicly announces his support for Dick two days before invading Germany by way of Austria.

The world fears that Alexi of Andorra will be the next mad man to initiate his plans of world domination and begs and pleads with the USA to come to the rescue. President Kerry, in a surprise move addresses the world from the Rose Garden saying, "To our European friends, I say we are with you, if only in spirit. The American people do not wish to become involved in another war where the blood of American boys and girls is spilled to save a people from a regime that while not chosen, is still not perpetuating genocide. The European people may likely be better off under this new unification and we see no reason to interfere in this illegal war at this time. The American people have spoken and Congress has moved to prevent me from taking any action. Perhaps we can all just go back to how things used to be."

This announcement was met with furious outrage in France and Belgium.
posted by Phoenix | 11:22 AM


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