Friday, April 28, 2006
20 Bucks
How much you want to bet that the USA doesn't come to a grinding halt on Monday?
posted by Phoenix | 3:16 PM | 1 comments

Speaking of Lurking
Reason #1 why I don't comment at Sadie's place:

I'm not clever enough!
posted by Phoenix | 3:15 PM | 1 comments

Special Message
To Dave the Lurker and his lovely wife,

Thanks for the kind words the other day. They came on the same day as a comment from a particularly oafish troll and helped me forget the troll.

Lurk as much as you want!
posted by Phoenix | 3:02 PM | 0 comments

For the record
I had grand plans to post today.

All my plans came to naught. You may or may not be aware, but the markets have been pretty wild of late.

Not that that is any sort of excuse.
posted by Phoenix | 3:01 PM | 0 comments

Well, That Sucks
To be freed after 12 years of imprisonment for a crime you didn't commit, only to be mowed down in a hit and run.

That sucks.
posted by Phoenix | 12:51 PM | 0 comments

Thursday, April 27, 2006

I'm pooped! Posted by Picasa
posted by Phoenix | 5:52 PM | 2 comments

Wanna play?  Posted by Picasa
posted by Phoenix | 5:52 PM | 0 comments

Why do all of my outfits come with these silly hats? Are we going to the Kentucky Derby, or something? Posted by Picasa
posted by Phoenix | 5:51 PM | 0 comments

You lookin' at me? Posted by Picasa
posted by Phoenix | 5:49 PM | 0 comments

This day has been way too long, ya know? Posted by Picasa
posted by Phoenix | 5:48 PM | 1 comments

I love my jungle gym! Posted by Picasa
posted by Phoenix | 5:48 PM | 0 comments

Shhh... Posted by Picasa
posted by Phoenix | 5:47 PM | 0 comments

My mommy bought me this goofy beret. I look like a mushroom! Posted by Picasa


posted by Phoenix | 5:47 PM | 1 comments

I just woke up, give me a break! Posted by Picasa
posted by Phoenix | 5:46 PM | 0 comments

RE: Alias
Did you know the CIA had a babysitting service? 'Cause I sure didn't.

May have to ask SpySistah about this...
posted by Phoenix | 11:53 AM | 1 comments

Canyon Man, Are You Lost?
The topic du jour for the brazen beauties of the Demystifying Divas and the Quirky Men's Club is the following puzzler:

Why Men Won't Ask for Directions and Why Women Will

I am going to go the historical route on this one, so bear with me.

In my opinion, this whole thing goes back to what my family calls "Canyon Man." Canyon Man is some obscure reference from some comedy skit we saw somewhere, but that is not important. Canyon Man is the term we use to describe a man who is being particularly stubborn about a survival-type of issue. For example, a Canyon Man might spend 8 hours trying to start a fire with flint and steel when he has a perfectly good bic lighter in his pocket. Canyon Man will spend 4 months tanning the hide to build himself a tipi when he has a perfectly good 4-Man tent in the garage. Canyon Man will spend 3 days attempting to catch fish with his bare hands and/or one of those old needle and string get-ups when he has a fortune invested in the lastest top-of-the-line fishing gear. He is a guy who will do these things to show that he can. For some reason, he eschews the fruits of Modern Man's Advances and instead purposely puts his shoulder to the grindstone to do it like "they used to." He will be freakishly obstinate in this pursuit. Why? Maybe it is for that ever-glorious feeling of accomplishment, but I doubt it. I suspect it comes from some primeval need to survive like the first man who crawled out of a cave and clubbed a woman to share his mastadon burger. He wants to prove himself to be not soft, not just another soft modern man who needs modern conveniences to make his way in the wild. He doesn't want to be the guy shopping at the Outfitters store for a mobile cappucino machine. He wants to be McGyver and survive 40 days in the desert with a paperclip and a plastic ziplock sandwich bag.

Men don't want to stop and ask for directions to an obscure location because they feel that they are wussing-out if they need assistance. Canyon Man could find his own way. Canyon Man would get there after building his own canoe. Men are convinced that they are one left turn from arriving at the destination by some biological compass that has been adapted through the ages from the days when man was a hunter/gatherer and had to find his way back to the cave or bush again. GPS unit? "I don't need no steenkeeng GPS unit!"

All of which I personally find ironic since I haven't met a man yet who didn't have to have the latest electronic gadget.

Now, as to why women will ask for directions? The best answer I can come up with is impatience. We don't want to waste our time. We've got stuff to do, we can't be lollygagging around driving in circles when a phone call or a few moments with a gas station attendant or kindly stranger would solve the problem. Women don't have this same drive to prove themselves worthy of the Directional Gods, I guess.

But, I've been wrong before.

For more, check out what Silk, Theresa, Arielle, Mark, Jim, and Jamesyboy have to say.
posted by Phoenix | 9:06 AM | 1 comments

Wednesday, April 26, 2006
You know that whole stereotype where women put on their makeup going down the highway, using the rearview mirror to apply lipstick, eyeliner, and mascara?

This morning, I saw a man on the interstate using his to shave.

I mention it because he had just cut me off.
posted by Phoenix | 2:43 PM | 0 comments

Somedays it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

Today has been nothing but trouble and grief, I tell ya.

Calgon? Take me away!
posted by Phoenix | 1:07 PM | 1 comments

Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Oh, how the time's have changed
Courtesy of The Llamabutchers, comes this quiz that tells you what your life would have been like in 1905.


You are a wife of a Landowner!

- A Snapshot of your life as it might have been in 1905

You'll be taught by a governess until you're 15 in the schoolroom at home. You'll be taken travelling around Europe and then you'll meet your husband during the London season.

Career Prospects
You'll come out as a debutante and be presented to the King when you're 18. You'll support your husband and spend time with the children. You'll pour scorn on female friends of yours who are becoming too political. You regard this an activity for men not women and will have no patience with the suffragette women who keep being arrested to make their points about women's rights.

Leisure Time
While in London for the season you'll spend time shopping in new department stores to buy clothes for the receptions, dinners and dances that you go to. You'll love going to the theatre, particularly to see the plays of Bernard Shaw.

Living Conditions
You'll live in the house your husband has inherited from his parents. Although the house is large it'll be filled by the ten servants, the children and the friends you have staying for weekend house parties.

Marital Relations
You'll marry your husband when you're 20 and will suspect he's not always as devoted to you as you are to him.

You know, parts of that sound really good!

I could do that private education and European travel thing pretty easily. I could even enjoy a London season. I could be a deb and wear beautiful gowns. Obviously the wife and mother part wouldn't be that much different. Shopping and going to balls, the theater, and plays could be nice. I could also handle entertaining guests for weekend house parties.

On the other hand...

Being "presented to the King" - ummm, not so much into that. Having a problem with women interested in politics and the women's suffrage movement? Totally laughable. So unlike me it is hysterically funny. I'd probably buck the system and be a "bluestocking" for sure. Ten servants? Ten? Egad. It'll be work just keeping them busy! I could live in the house my husband inherits, so long as his mother doesn't come with the deal. But if you read between the lines of that last part, namely suspecting my husband isn't as devoted to me as I am to him, that really means he's running around. I couldn't live with that.

But, you take the good with the bad, I guess.
posted by Phoenix | 1:07 PM | 1 comments

Anybody there?
posted by Phoenix | 11:55 AM | 5 comments

Jingle in my head
No, there isn't something come loose up there. I have a radio jingle for a local locksmith running through my head.

You lock your dog in the car with the keys
Locks and Unlocks, Locks and Unlocks

blech. It frustrates me that I don't know all the words.

Insanity creeps ever closer...
posted by Phoenix | 11:00 AM | 0 comments

Scariest Words of the Week:
Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease

We appear to have escaped the local epidemic, thank heaven!
posted by Phoenix | 10:59 AM | 0 comments

Monday, April 24, 2006
Signs I'm Going Insane
1) At the store on Saturday night, I giggled and said to my husband, "That guy has a banana in his pocket." Because, the guy really did have a banana in his front pant's pocket. It was sticking out, you could see it quite clearly. My husband dead panned, "Maybe he's happy to see people." (The guy was the greeter at Wal-Mart.) Who carries a banana in their front pocket?

It should be noted, however, that my husband did not laugh at this. Am I the only one that thinks this is funny?

2) I was at the drive-thru squawk box at Arby's for lunch. The disembodied voice asked, "Can I offer you a gyro today?'

But, I heard, "Can I offer you a Euro today?" and before I could think it through, I had responded with "Like a Eurodollar?"

Now we were both confused. My brain kicked back into gear and I said, "Oh, now I get it. No. I'd like the Martha's Vineyard Salad, please."

Then I apologized at the window saying that although I had left work, my brain was still there.

I find this funny as well. Gyro. Euro. You can see the slapstick, can you not?
posted by Phoenix | 12:52 PM | 0 comments

Bunny Boop Update
Bunny Boop has added a new trick to her bag of tricks.

That's right! In a single day she learned to blow a raspberry. I am so proud! So, now we blow raspberries back and forth and giggle at each other.

Family Fun.


Don't be. Bunny Boop drools. A lot.
posted by Phoenix | 12:50 PM | 0 comments

I am back
Sorry to not post earlier today. I intended to. I've just had computer issues this morning that I still haven't completely ironed out.

Perhaps I will have something interesting soon.
posted by Phoenix | 10:34 AM | 0 comments

Friday, April 21, 2006
More on Illegal Immigration
Once again, I am drawn to an article because Dave, The American Geek, told me to read it.

This time, however, I find that it says exactly what I have tried to say many times before, however poorly. Read the entire thing, of course, but here is a sneak peek:
While American citizens are legally entitled to welfare state benefits,
Mexicans get those benefits only if they cross the border into the United States. In short, immigrants add to such costs while Wal-Mart's American employees do not, because they can get those benefits whether they work for Wal-Mart or not.

Whatever the decision as to how many and what kind of immigrants should be let into the United States, why should that decision be made by people in Mexico, instead of being made here by Americans?
I would sum up by asking a question of my own: Why must we persist in letting these people deny us our sovereignty (what else to you call an invasion followed by protests demanding their rights to their own land) by subverting our laws and sucking at the welfare teat without paying their share of the tab? Are we to be made to pay twice, three times, or four times over for their criminal behavior? I don't think that is right.

I think American citizens should be making the decisions about who gets to come, not the Mexican Government, People Smugglers, or anybody lucky enough to sneak across the border and get away with it. And, I absolutely don't think you should get to suck the welfare teat indefinitely.
posted by Phoenix | 10:04 AM | 0 comments

The Doctor says...
Bunny Boop weighs 13 pounds and 13 ounces. My guess was way off.

She is 24.75 inches long. Did I not tell you that she was all leg?

Don't ask me where she gets it, certainly not from me!

She did not like her shots this morning, however. Poor thing...
posted by Phoenix | 9:35 AM | 0 comments

Darwin Award Contenders
Just how f***ing stupid do you have to be to take a guy up on door-to-door breast exams? I mean, REALLY! A breast exam is not a candy bar, wrapping paper, or even a lawn mowing. If some stranger comes to your home and offers to do a medical exam, please say no. Loudly.

If someone is going to come into your home and direct you to take off your clothes, you will probably know them ahead of the visit, or you are a victim of a crime. He may look like Buddy Hackett, but serial killers always look harmless. Everybody said Ted Bundy looked like a nice clean-cut young man. So polite!

Look, if serial killers looked menacing, they wouldn't be as dangerous. Women, Ladies, Girls, I implore you to think first and act second.

In the end, you are the only one looking out for you.
posted by Phoenix | 8:45 AM | 0 comments

Current Events Quiz
Once again, take the current events quiz, courtesy of MSNBC.

I don't want to brag, but this week I got them all correct.
posted by Phoenix | 8:32 AM | 0 comments

Thursday, April 20, 2006
I am not a fan of 1970's circa fashion. Winged sleeves, bell bottoms, beads, macrame, feathered hair, big sunglasses...

It is not attractive.
posted by Phoenix | 2:44 PM | 0 comments

Insert Title Here
I have so much on my mind these days that it is hard to focus. I need some free time. That way I can do the Spring Cleaning and the regular cleaning that I am woefully behind on. I need to spend some time getting the Spring plantings done in the flower beds. I am seriously considering more perennials for the side beds so that I don't have to spend so much time at it. Then, mulching because in the past two years I haven't been able to keep up with the weeds. Then, I need to get a manicure and a pedicure and relax. I have silk pillows to sew for the new living room furniture and the cornice to work on.

Mostly, I need some time at home. We've been spending way too much time on the road.
posted by Phoenix | 2:33 PM | 0 comments

"Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater"
Today's topic for the Demystifying Divas and the Men's Club is...

Would you ever be able to get over a significant other cheating on you? Would you be able to stay with that person?

How to answer this one? I guess I should just be honest.

I've been cheated on. Cheated on and cheated on and cheated on. My first serious relationship was with a serial cheater. My second serious relationship was with a pathological liar - and he cheated too, though a case could be made that the long-distance aspect of our relationship didn't help. I even caught my stepfather cheating on my mother once, so I'm not sure that I can be open-minded about this. Please take these comments with that in mind.

I have, in the past, been able to get over being cheated on. The problem with this is, it always lead to more cheating. I can't really endorse this as the best course because of history. You just end up feeling badly about yourself and enduring more pain needlessly. The cheater should wear the scarlet letter, but somehow, in today's society, the cheat-ees tend to feel worse than the cheaters. I think that is wrong. I say, if you are cheated on, pick up your panties and move on. Leave that heartless bastard choking on your dust.

I could not stay in the face of infidelity again. I couldn't. I have come a long way and grown a lot since I was treated this way by a man. I won't let it happen again. Say what you want, but I won't be held hostage by someone else's notion of Christianity and forgiveness. I've been that idiot; I didn't enjoy the ride!

Please don't think that this is a case of "once bitten, twice shy". I've been "bitten" multiple times by that dog. And, I'm merely trying to tell you to be careful walking around his neighborhood. I am married to a wonderful man, a man who values and respects me, who I can be certain would never treat me in this way. But, if you are looking for advice, I say leave him flat. Like Rachel's mom said, "Once a cheater, always a cheater."

But that's just my take, you are certainly entitled to sign yourself up for doormat lessons if you want.

For more perspectives, check out what Silk, Theresa, Arielle, Mark, Jim, and Jamesyboy have to say.
posted by Phoenix | 12:52 AM | 3 comments

Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Bunny Boop Update
Bunny Boop is 4 months old now, so I thought an update was in order.

She has been holding her head up for a while now. She is getting very good with her hands too. Each day she spends time playing the infant version of tetherball - she bats at a plastic ball on a string overhead, sending it flying away. When it returns, my girl hits it again. Much fun for the whole family. She smiles and giggles all of the time now. We appear to have a very happy and content little girl on our hands.

She also spends time in her jumper each day. She is developing good and strong leg muscles and loves to stand up supported, but she hasn't really gotten the bouncing down yet. She can sit supported too. Just this morning, during tummy time when she was gazing raptly at her image in the child-safe mirror, she began to rock on her elbows and knees and arch her back. I suspect that this is a first step toward rolling over.

She is sleeping through the night at long last. I can't tell you how grateful I am. We have also started her on rice cereal, although this is a very recent development - she's had it three nights in a row so far.

But it goes without saying that the best parts of my day are when I wake her up each morning and she smiles and when I pick her up each afternoon.
posted by Phoenix | 9:59 AM | 0 comments

Alien Baby Born
Katie Holmes gave birth to the thetan-infested child of Tom Cruise yesterday.

No word yet on the question of the silent birth.

Also, no news yet if Tom has feasted on the placenta and cord, or if he wants fries with that.
posted by Phoenix | 9:09 AM | 0 comments

Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Icky Poo
Tom Cruise intends to eat the placenta currently nourishing his as yet unborn child.

I say it again: Icky Poo.
posted by Phoenix | 10:52 AM | 0 comments

Book Review: The DaVinci Code
I gave into the hype. I am reading The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown.

I know, I know. I am weak. But I felt that I would probably go see the movie, in which case I would prefer to read the book, seeing as how it is somewhat esoteric subject matter.

I have to tell you that I've met some nuts who think it explains the world, blah, blah, blah.

I don't think I fall into that camp. I mean, I can see why you might think so. My college roommates did label me the "antichrist" for daring to suggest that perhaps 8 bible studies/week was a tad bit excessive for non-religious studies majors, but no. I am not all of a sudden worshipping the Goddess.

Nevertheless, I can report that it is a great book. A real page-turner that keeps you guessing. I'm almost finished and I still have no idea how it will end.

But, remember people, it is fiction.
posted by Phoenix | 8:57 AM | 2 comments

The Drought is Over

Alias returns to a television near you this Wednesday. Jennifer Garner is back from maternity leave and ready to kick some more asses. Of course, the series wraps with the end of this season, so there are a few loose ends that need tieing. (the last preview I saw indicated that Vaughn might not really be dead -- we've seen this plot device before, though).

Anyway, Tune in. I'm hoping that it inspires a few more SpySistah Chronicles.
posted by Phoenix | 8:48 AM | 0 comments

Public Service Announcement
Attention Readers:

Mother's Day is one month from now. Do yourself a favor and do your shopping now. You will thank yourself later.

This has been a Villains Vanquished Public Service Announcement.
posted by Phoenix | 8:46 AM | 0 comments

Thursday, April 13, 2006
Channeling Gomer Pyle: Sooprise, Sooprise Sooprise
Guess what?

Yes. That's right. Hordes of additional illegal aliens are trying now to cross the border so that they can take advantage of the amnesty being considered.

So, that whole discouraging illegal immigration thing was a total bust. As we all knew it would be.
The shelter's manager, Francisco Loureiro, said he has not seen such a rush of migrants since 1986, when the United States allowed 2.6 million illegal residents to get American citizenship.

Interesting how we haven't learned the lesson. Damn Politicians!
This time, the draw is a bill before the U.S. Senate that could legalize some of the 11 million people now illegally in the United States while tightening border security. Migrants are hurrying to cross over in time to qualify for a possible guest-worker program - and before the journey becomes even harder.

I am so sick of us not enforcing the laws already on the books. Taxpayers: Bend over and prepare to take it without benefit of lubrication. Your ass is theirs.
posted by Phoenix | 9:36 AM | 1 comments

Break Up Shake Up
Today, on a very special episode of The Demystifying Divas and The Men's Club, we are discussing the Break Up. Specifically, we have been charged with:

Breaking Up is Hard to Do -- So How About a How-To?

Clever, no?

Okay, so first and foremost I advise honesty with a skilled scalpel instead of honesty with a blunt hammer or dishonesty like a mass-casualty train wreck. I also advise large quantities of discretion.

When you are considering your break up strategy, you should always go with honesty as your best policy. That being said, you should use your honesty lightly and carefully, because it amounts to a weapon when used at this juncture of a relationship. See the examples of right and wrong approaches below.

If you are breaking up with him or her because you'd rather scrub toilets than talk to or spend time with this person...
Scapel Approach: "I just don't feel that special spark and I don't want to waste your time."
Hammer Approach: "This isn't going to work because I don't care for you in that special way."
Train Wreck Approach: "When I am with you, I crave the company of my toilet brush."

If you are breaking up with them after discovering a tendre for someone else (whether you've acted on it or not), be honest...
Scalpel: "My heart isn't in this relationship, I have developed feelings for someone else, I'm sorry."
Hammer: "You are as exciting as oatmeal on a Tuesday morning, Joe, on the other hand, is a spicy 8-inch breakfast sausage. And I'm hungry."
Train Wreck: "The slut on the corner gives it up much easier, see ya!"

If you are breaking up with them because of their behavior at social functions (not-fit for public presentation), be honest...
Scalpel: "We are from two different worlds and I fear neither of us would be happy adapting."
Hammer: "I am looking for someone with a bit more social polish who will be an asset to me."
Train Wreck: "I can't take your nasty-ass anywhere! A starving monkey has better table manners and is less likely to make the fellow diners puke. Can't do it man. Be seein' ya!"

If you are breaking up with them because they cheated on you...
Scalpel: "Something has come between us and I value myself too much to be treated this way or let myself be this unhappy."
Hammer: "I deserve someone who is faithful to me, not his little head."
Train Wreck: "I'm sure you'll be happier with her, assuming you have enough antibiotics and you don't mind sharing her like the turnstile at the train station! But, a word to the wise: If it begins to itch, see a doctor."

See what I mean? The scalpel preserves the dignity of both the breaker and the breakee. The train wreck just leads to the lead item on the 9 o'clock news. It is possible that the more obtuse will not pick up on the gently wielded scalpel. They may even deny it. In this case, feel free to escalate to the hammer. If that still doesn't do the trick, find a jack hammer type of strategy. If that still doesn't work, get a TRO.

Now, the discretion part. The whole point of the scalpel approach is it lets both parties maintain their dignity. It would be foolish and counter-productive to sink your own strategy by telling other people that he had the personality of road kill. And the smell. This will get back to him in due time. Are you kidding? It is too delicious not to repeat. And that will prompt him to escalate matters and start telling his own tales.

It is really poor form to take your story to the press, get the other woman preggers and adopt her children in less than a year's time. Don't be bad, Don't be Brad. You are better than that.

I do hope that this has been helpful. For more good advice, see what Silk, Arielle, Theresa, Jim, Mark, and Jamesyboy have to add.
posted by Phoenix | 8:30 AM | 1 comments

Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Blog-jacking in progress.

Already there has been pirates, Keanu, Anne Murray of Muskrat Love Fame, Cheetos, Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, and Monty Python.

What blasphemy will besmirch the CakeEater Chronicles next? No one knows. But, it just might be Kevin Federline in a toga with a llama dressed like Carmen Miranda.

(Sadie - this last part was for you.)

Correction: It appears that Anne Murray never cut Muskrat Love. It was either America or Captain and Tenille. I don't know what song I was thinking of...anyway, thanks to NE for correcting my error.

On that note, though, wouldn't a photoshop of the llamas dressed as Captain and Tenille be smashing? Man, I could really like that, but which one would be the Captain, and which Tenille?

That question will no doubt keep me up at night.
posted by Phoenix | 8:56 AM | 1 comments

Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Saddam Was a Terrorist
Read all about it here.

You won't get it from the MSM, so do not pass go, do not collect $200, just click and become informed.
posted by Phoenix | 12:08 PM | 0 comments

Ah, The Perils of the Ego Trip (and the incredible fall)
So, it seems the mighty have stumbled on their own ungainly egos.

Howard Stern, who as far as I can tell is famous for being rude and treating women very poorly (let's face it - he's no gentleman) is astounded that more of his audience didn't follow him from free-radio to pay-radio. He used to perform for 12 million listeners on a daily basis, but recent ratings data suggests he now only grosses out 1-2 million.

I've never seen the appeal of his show, so I don't find it surprising that he failed to get people to follow him to satellite and pay for the pleasure of his titty talk. In all honesty, I find him to be reprehensible, crass, and a poor excuse for a comedian (that's how he's alluded to in the article).

Perhaps even more telling is Stern's own words on his disappearing audience:
"You haven't come with me yet? How dare you?" Stern told Entertainment Weekly. "We're up to wild, crazy stuff; the show has never sounded better."

Perhaps he isn't worth his pricey price tag. Ya think?

Whatever. I'd rather listen to a cow chew his cud, or 3rd graders play the violin. Or another lecture from the MIL.

h/t: Drudge
posted by Phoenix | 11:54 AM | 0 comments

Monday, April 10, 2006
Taking a Poll
I am taking a poll. I am looking into a group cruise. Have you ever been on a cruise?

Where did you cruise to?
What cruise line did you travel with?
Did you enjoy yourself?
Would you go again?
Would you recommend the cruise line?
Did the cruise have lots of activities to appeal to a wide range of ages?
How much time did you spend in your cabin?
Did you like your cabin?
Would you get a bigger cabin if you went again?
What was the worst part of your trip?
The best part?
Is there anything else I should know about cruising?

Leave your answers in the comments, please.
posted by Phoenix | 10:26 AM | 1 comments

It is that time of year again
Relax. It isn't yet time to start your Christmas shopping.

I refer instead to Sandal Season. It is time to get a pedicure and bring your toes out of the dark caves they have been living in for the past 6 months. I love sandal season, though it does bring up a rather irksome situation for me.

You see, I have this pair of sandals that I absolutely love. They are perfect. They are worn in leather and they make my feet look beautiful. I have never seen anyone wearing a pair like them. I bring this up because they are several years old now and are starting to show their age. I would really like a new pair just like them, but they are not to be found. I know. I've searched. It is possible, I suppose, to get them repaired, but I'm not sure what that would look like, end result, considering where the damage is. I could probably go to a cobbler and get a new pair crafted. But I'm afraid of what that might cost.

It is so frustrating! So now, I will undoubtedly spend the entire summer searching for a decent pair of leather sandals that look good on my feet. If I'm really lucky, I'll find a pair by September, and then they won't even be good and broken in for next year.

posted by Phoenix | 9:36 AM | 0 comments

Friday, April 07, 2006
I'll take the "No Shit, Sherlock" category for $500, Alex
Going right along with what is wrong with the current debate on immigration, namely the vast divide between politicians seeking politically-correct solutions and the view of the voting body that elects them, comes this study that explains all.
WASHINGTON - People's ideas of a happy, cooperative society in which no one gets punished fall apart as soon as a few freeloaders show up, researchers reported on Thursday.

Although most volunteers in a study first chose to join a group that did not use punishment, most eventually left for a group that fined transgressors, the team at the University of Erfurt in Germany and the London School of Economics in Britain found.

"Our results show that the sanctioning institution is the undisputed winner in 'voting-with-one's-feet' competition with a sanction-free institution," the researchers wrote in their report, published in the journal Science.

This is why most people don't want anything even close to Amnesty for Illegals. It doesn't matter if you put her in a nice dress first and take her to dinner, she is still just a whore. Don't expect the nice ladies at the market who played by the rules to invite her to tea.
posted by Phoenix | 11:49 AM | 0 comments

A Metaphor for Our Country
This story caught my eye and upon reading it, I found it an apt metaphor for our country.
WASHINGTON - Within earshot of traffic roaring along the Capital Beltway, a suddenly single dad is waging a quiet struggle to save his offspring, a nest of bald eagle eggs on the verge of hatching.

The eagle, nicknamed George by workers building a new Beltway bridge, lost his mate, Martha, when she was attacked by another female eagle Wednesday. The aggressor may have been trying to take over George and Martha's nest in suburban Maryland, which is valuable real estate for the area's booming bald eagle population.

After watching Martha fall in a dramatic midair battle, construction workers sought help from Stephanie R. Spears, an environmental specialist working with the Woodrow Wilson Bridge project.

Spears rushed the bleeding mother eagle to a veterinary hospital in Newark, Del., here she was being treated for puncture wounds and a damaged beak that may need weeks of rehabilitation.

George was left alone to guard the nest and at least two eggs, difficult because he needs to hunt for food twice a day, and the attacking female remains a threat. Spears said she and federal wildlife officials were considering whether to move the eggs, or chicks, into a surrogate nest where they might have a better chance at survival.

When I read this, I read about September 11th, the Global War on Terror, the pain of the fight, the struggle, and the courage and conviction to keep the home fires burning. And, of course, there is the symbolism of the story being about our national bird as well.

Do you see it too?

h/t: MSNBC
posted by Phoenix | 11:38 AM | 0 comments

I am happy
I am so very happy with my life.

I have a husband who is, quite possibly, the best man I have ever known. He is easy to get along with, loving, a fabulous father, doesn't mind doing laundry or dishes, and sincerely loves me.

I have a child who is both beautiful and smart, and who makes motherhood a true joy. She smiles and my heart nearly explodes with glee, she holds my finger in her hand and looks up at me and my heart swells with satisfaction.

I have a beautiful home in a lovely little town.

I feel like a fat cat, lazing in the sun, waiting for someone to fill my bowl.
posted by Phoenix | 11:13 AM | 2 comments

Immigration? Bankrupt Nation!
I've been mulling the so-called "Immigration Reform" bill currently in front of the Senate. I have to say, I think it is crap. A big, steaming, smelly pile of crap.

For those not in the know, the bill offers the following on a how-long-you've-been-here-illegally scale:
Illegal immigrants here more than five years could work for six years and apply for legal permanent residency without having to leave the country. Those here two years to five years would have to go to border entry points sometime in next three years, but could immediately return as temporary workers. Those here less than two years would have to leave and wait in line for visas to return.

No tell me, if you were here illegally, would you admit to being here less than 5 years? Of course not! So what this really does is encourage these illegals to break another law! encourages more illegals to cross over, fake documentation, and say they've been here since 1997!

The whole thing is just asinine! These people have a lots of experience with faking documents, and now we are going to create another black-market industry in fake documents. I guess it really will stimulate the economy, just not in the way our "learned and esteemed" Senators think!

Are none of our Senators even remotely acquainted with the on-the-ground realities? I don't think they are. If they were, they would see that they have done nothing to encourage real legal immigration, and have thumbed their collective noses and the very law and body that they represent! Get this: Lawmakers are encouraging people to break the law. Moreover, their "solution" actually rewards you if you have broken the law longer than your neighbor, not that that matters seeing as how 12 million people are going to claim to have lived here since 1997.

It is crap. Pure, steaming, on-the-farm, smelly-boots crap.

And, there is another thing I'm worried about.

USA Dave, The American Geek, pointed out this article the other day which further got me to thinking.

If we continue to encourage our friends from the South to sneak in and not assimilate, aren't we inviting the same sorts of trouble that the Europeans are now courting with their large populations of disaffected Muslims? Do we really want an uprising of our own, with people demanding free health care, free money, free housing, and free ipods? I'll tell you this, I don't want to be paying taxes when it gets to this point!

I don't think the bill does enough to say "You want to be an American? That's great. But here's the thing: you have to obey the law. You have to be a member of society in good standing. You have to do your part to strive for the American Dream. It isn't something that falls into our lap. It is something you work for, something you teach your children to want. Your children need to recognize the rule of our laws and understand that they, too, will be expected to become productive members of society. Learn English and assimilate. Don't forget where you come from, but don't forget where you are, either."

Moreover, it offends me that this bill seemingly says that Mexican immigrants are better than other immigrants. What does that say to the Poles who have scraped and saved to get here and offer a better life to their kids? What does it say to Armenians, Italians, Germans, and Irishmen? What does it say to those people? Oh, if only I had brown skin? This is crap too! For the accident of having been able to walk across the border, they get a free pass on their illegal entry?

I don't like it. This really is amnesty. And it is wrong. Very, very, wrong. And, I don't see how anyone who values the rule of law can see it otherwise.
posted by Phoenix | 10:17 AM | 0 comments

If I were sitting on the jury...
I'd give the SOB the chair, or a nice needle and a long nap.

Why? Because after freely admitting he was supposed to pilot a fifth plane on 9/11/01, and listening to the horror stories of survivors and victims families, he had this to say:
An Nguyen was 4 years old when his father, Khang Nguyen, was killed at the Pentagon. Prosecutors showed a picture of An standing at the Pentagon gates a few days after the attack, looking for his dad.

"He became heartbroken, quiet," said An's mother, Tu Nguyen. "He didn't have enough words to express his feelings."

When An was told his dad was in heaven, An decided he wanted to become an astronaut, "so he can go into space and look for his daddy," she told the jury.

Moussaoui made light of the testimony he heard.

"No pain, no gain, America," he said at the end of Thursday's hearing.

The SOB doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as these other people.

h/t: Drudge
posted by Phoenix | 9:51 AM | 0 comments

Pop Quiz, Hot Shot
Take the weekly current events quiz, courtesy of MSNBC.
posted by Phoenix | 9:08 AM | 0 comments

Thursday, April 06, 2006
For the Record
The Phoenix to which they refer is not me.

I love the Hatemonger's Quarterly! I'm not cool enough to get invited to their Anniversary Balls, but I still love them. I would never compare them to Chinese Take-out.

Just wanted to clear the air.
posted by Phoenix | 9:11 AM | 0 comments

Fuglys, or How Superficial Are You?
This Thursday, the Divas and Gents are tackling the following topic:

Have you ever been with someone who was NOT attractive? What made them attractive to you? (Word to the wise - if this is your current flame, don't use them as an example) combined with Would you ever marry/date a person just for their good looks?

To which I say:

Attraction is a personal thing, a private thing, between two people. Just like 'Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder', attraction is a chemical, physical, emotional thing. It absolutely is not a magazine editor's concept that walks and talks. Attraction is a visceral thing that happens when you first "notice" a member of the opposite sex. I use quotes around notice because this can happen on first meeting or after knowing someone for 10 years. It is mental and chemical magic rolled up in a burrito of excitement.

So, have I ever been with someone who wasn't attractive? No. Not in the way the question is meant, where "been with" connotes a personal relationship. Why would I get involved in a relationship where my own interest wasn't engaged? I'm not a whore, and they are the only ones I know whose partners are interchangeable condiments at the buffet. That should tell you pretty clearly that I would never date or marry anyone just for their appearance. I'm not that kind of girl. And just for the record, I wouldn't date or marry anyone for their money either.

I have been with people who didn't fit the GQ mold of beauty, of course. Very few people fit into that tiny-minded superficial box. What made them attractive to me?

That's easy. I find a man sexy and attractive who is confident and intelligent. I am put off by pushy bores and cads. I like gentlemen with wicked wits and who show me just a peek of naughty. An attractive man, to me, is one who can discuss current events and give an opinion that doesn't include what some talking head said. I want a man who can think for himself. The number one sexual organ is, after all, the brain.

Which segues nicely to this bit of conventional wisdom that is absolutely true and good advice:

Beauty fades. Find yourself a smart and funny man and you'll be happy.

Now then, for more on this topic, check out Arielle, Theresa, and Silk. For the male perspective, see what Mark, Jim, and Jamesyboy have to say.
posted by Phoenix | 8:45 AM | 1 comments

Bunny Boop slept through the night for the very first time last night!

This is a very big deal. I got uninterrupted sleep for the first time in almost 4 months. Of course, I also knew real panic this morning. I woke up at 4 a.m. to the sounds of her playing in her crib. I looked at the clock and freaked, because she had slept for so long. I fed her, and then she continued happily playing.

Yippee! My baby girl is starting to grow up. Now, if we could get her to start crawling and talking...
posted by Phoenix | 8:30 AM | 1 comments

Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Rat's Ass
As in, I couldn't give one regarding Katie Couric's professional plans.

Perhaps it will actually improve the Today show. Of course, I couldn't give a rat's ass about that either.

The only bad news in this is it is unlikely to save CBS News. There's no saving that ship. Not even cute and perky tyranny will do it.
posted by Phoenix | 3:15 PM | 0 comments

I know, I know.

I failed to post anything even remotely dull yesterday and things are not looking good today, either. With luck, I will find some time this afternoon. I'm just busy working on 3 projects.

Blogging will have to wait.

I don't even have time to read my regular reads!
posted by Phoenix | 10:53 AM | 0 comments

Monday, April 03, 2006
High-toned Culcha Post
We usually leave the high-toned culcha posting to the Crack Young Staff of The Hatemonger's Quarterly and the Wooly Denizens of The Llamabutchers. The Llamabutchers tend to cover chamber music, Bach, and ice capades while "Chip" and the rest of the staff lean toward the more academic activities. Now I can reasonably join the snooty cabal as, this weekend Prince Charming and I schlepped down to Chi-town to take in a bit of Theater (pronounced thee-utter).

In fact, we saw the Chicago production of the much-acclaimed Wicked. It was, I can now report, delightful!

One might even say wickedly delightful.

The plot was intriguing and kept you guessing (if you aren't familiar with it already) and the puns were terrific. For those not in the know, this story sort of predates "The Wizard of Oz" and then completes after that story is over. It is almost as though it gives you the Paul Harvey "Rest of the Story." Things are explained, like the origins of the Tin Man, the Scarecrow, and the Cowardly Lion. The Flying Monkeys are explained, as are the ruby slippers. It is quite ingenious. There are a few timeline-issues for complete meshing, but you can forgive that easily because the rest of it is so cute.

The musical score sucked though. I mean it. I don't know who wrote the music or the lyrics, but it was a real let down. The tunes weren't catchy and the lyrics weren't particularly clever. It was only so-so. I honestly felt that it could have been a blockbuster it they'd simply rescore the music. The plot deserves better! Besides which, it competes with The Wizard of Oz - which has some very catchy music. This music falls flat, at least for me. In fact, the only song that I even came close to enjoying was Galinda's 'Popular', and even it wasn't as cute and clever as it might have been.

Now, the stage sets were fabulous, as you would expect them to be. And, the actress who portrayed Elphaba (The Wicked Witch) was very talented and could really sing. I don't envy her that green makeup, though. But, in my opinion, the actress who played Glinda/Galinda stole the show. She was fabulous and I loved every minute that she was on stage. Her protrayal was pure joy. Even now I can see the bubbly Galinda doing her "toss-toss."

So there you have it, the very first Villains Vanquished theater review.
posted by Phoenix | 9:19 AM | 0 comments

I've been robbed
And I mean that quite literally. When I was getting ready to leave my mother's house on Sunday, I looked in her foyer for my shoes. After all, that was where I had left them.

Alas! The shoe burglar also known as "Grandmother" decided she must have them.

I just want to go on record as feeling very disturbed that my shoes were so much like her own that she confused them. Doesn't say much for my keen fashion sense, does it?
posted by Phoenix | 9:16 AM | 1 comments


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