A Question of Etiquette
Call me bitchy if you want, but I have a major bone to pick with a "thank you card" we recently received.Good golly am I becoming curmudgeonly...And yet, I can not let it go.
Several weeks ago, Prince Charming and I were unable to attend a wedding for one of his cousins due to his work schedule. It just wasn't going to work, so we sent our regrets (through his mother since no RSVP was requested by the bride or groom) and a lovely card and nice check.
I went to Hallmark, chose a card, wrote a lovely note of best wishes, and enclosed a tidy sum. I mailed it so that they would receive it just before the nuptials.
Last night, we received a "thank you card" for our efforts. I put "thank you card" in quotes because, although that is what they intended it to be, I feel it is a slip-shod, sorry excuse for an pretense at observing the social niceties.
The card is nothing less than a picture of them printed on an oversized piece of Kodak paper that leaves a 2 inch-wide blank at the bottom of the photo. I'm sure you've seen these. They are often used to send out Christmas greetings and have the words "Happy Holidays from The Smiths" or some such.
The photo is a picture of the bride and groom. He is holding a hand-made shoddy sign at an angle that says "Thank." She is holding her own sign beside him and it says "You." At the bottom of the "card" in that blank white space, a sloppy one-line message has been written: "Thanks so much for the gift of money!"
And the envelope that this came in? Our address appeared on a sticker. There was no return address.
Am I wrong for feeling that they sort of phoned-it-in? For heaven's sake! I put more effort into throwing away my trash! I despise these picture card thank yous - this is not the first we've received. But, what really offends me is that I took the time to purchase a card, write a note (including addressing the envelope), and enclose a check. In return, I receive some mass-market POS with a careless 1-line note scrawled on it.
The entire back of this card is blank, providing ample room for a more thoughtful and elaborate message, but NO! That would be too much trouble, apparently.
It was only 4 years ago that I was married, so I'm not talking out of my ass here. Each of our thank you cards was at least six sentences in length, some a great deal longer, and were carefully thought-out messages to our thoughtful guests. I took the time to thank them in my own words, expressing joy over the item(s) and our plans for them. In the event that we received a gift of cash, I was careful to express our plans for spending the money. It wasn't that difficult. I wrote from the heart, providing the recipients with a look into our lives together. Most of the time I even shared light-hearted anecdotes of our post-wedding bliss. All of my thank yous went out within 3 weeks of our wedding. I realize this is ambitious, but I felt that the people who cared enough to give us a gift deserved prompt thank yous. Prompt, gracious, and polite thank yous. Thank yous that indicated our real regard for them and their gift. I took it quite seriously and still do.
I followed this same recipe when I completed the thank yous for the gifts that we received for the baby shower.
So perhaps you can see why it chaps my ass when someone does this kind of thing. It is as though our gift and the time I put into it was irrelevant to them. I realize I spent less than 30 minutes preparing their gift, but they spent less than 3 minutes on their gratitude. That Sucks. Seriously. That. Sucks.
Show a little class! It doesn't take that much more time to do it right and it pays dividends.
Schmucks!
So tell me, am I wrong? Am I over-reacting? It is true, it could have been worse. We could have received a bcc: mass email saying thank you, I suppose.
Still, I'm pretty pissed off about this.
