Thursday, August 14, 2008
Okay, here's a one-size-fits-all post. Mostly because it is Thursday and my first opportunity to post, and time for organizing thoughts is short.

1. Olympics, Schmolympics. Who gives a rat's ass? Am I surprised that the Chinese are cheating? Not even a little bit. Do I care?...Maybe on a fairness level, but since I have yet to watch even one nanosecond of coverage, it doesn't rank on my list. Besides, and country who would revoke a girl's opportunity to be on global television because of her teeth...isn't a country I'll be visiting with my dollars anytime soon. Bastards.

2. From the Motherhood Learning Files, am sending an alert to NASA: New Lubricant Identified! Tartar sauce makes things really slick and stands up stubbornly to our laboratory tests. Just ask Bunny Boop. She's publishing her findings in a journal very soon.

3. Russia Invades! Who's the Imperialist Asshole Country now? Yeah, I'm talking to all you limp-wristed Liberals. And, in the case of Russia, they really have no compunction about killing civilians. (crickets chirping...) I'm sure the UN will jump in with a resolution annnnnnnytime now.

4. John Edwards: The New & Improved Bill Clinton. And raise your hand if you believe he didn't father that child he's visited 3 times since it was born. Yeah, that's what I thought. Isn't it interesting how the MSM doesn't think this is news? Why, it is almost as though John Edwards wasn't a US Senator or Vice Presidential candidate or sumpin'.

5. Dear NASA: If the tartar sauce solution fails your tests, would suggest strawberry yogurt. Also an exceptional lubricant, with the added bonus of smelling tasty.

6. Nancy Pelosi: What an Idiot. And yet, somehow still preferable to Cindy Sheehan.

7. Jennifer Aniston is single again. Girl can't find a decent man. I know how that is. It was a long long ride before I found my prince charming.

8. Oh yeah, and Obama is still an unsatisfactory option for President of the United States. The man has no guts.
posted by Phoenix | 12:48 PM


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