Imagined: Scenes from a Strategy Meeting
Mary Beth: Okay, okay, let's come to order now.
THK: Oh, are we ordering? Do get some Dom. I've only got two more bottles over here.
Carville: Yes, yes, where are we on Project Fortunate Son?
Boy Wonder: Dude! Where is your head? We've agreed to call that Project Pop Princess. You've got to use the code words man, we could be bugged!
Danny Boy: Well, I'm in a heap of trouble. The affiliates are bailing! Can you imagine? Don't they know who I am? It is just more of the same from the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy! They want me to retire! ME!
#1: I feel your pain. Really I do....How did that sound? Clintonesque enough?
Carville: Not bad...but not all that good either. Try to sound more like you mean it. Emote man!
Ben: Well, I have something to report. California is in the bag. Thanks to my considerable efforts at getting my friends in Hollywood to talk you up. Everybody loves an action star! Doesn't my hair look good today?
THK: While you are charming, and have great hair, you aren't exactly an action star. Furthermore, you don't marry well, or wouldn't have had it gone off. Could I get some Beluga with my Dom? Mikey! MIKEY! BRING THE FREAKIN' DOM!
Mikey: How can you drink Dom while the poor Iraqi children are wishing for a return of their courageous leader? Have you no soul?
THK: MB - Mikey is outre! Off with his head!
Mikey: But my film...
Mary Beth: Sorry, Mike. Should have kept your mouth shut. You'll have to leave. Al Franken will strip you of your credentials on your way out.
THK: DOM! Bring the DOM!
#1: Yes dear, it is coming. So how about this, I feeeel your pain.
Carville: Still too weak. Sounds affected. Try this instead, "I empathize with your suffering"
#1: I empathize with your suffering.
Carville: Nope. No good, and the winking doesn't help. Stop that!
Boy Wonder: Maybe we could work the Two Americas bit in again.
Ben: Man, watch me, I'm a professional...None of us should suffer anymore, I am with you!
THK: You're not a very good actor, are you? What have you done again?
Mary Beth: I feel we've gotten a bit off track here...
Danny Boy: [Interrupting] I'll say! Nobody here is concerned with the attacks on me! That internet rif-raff must be taken down!
THK: Where is the *bleep* DOM? Carville, Go get Franken to bring the DOM - or his ass will be the next, do you hear me? Have him bring a case! Make that two cases. Also, some pate and a bit of that cheese-whizzy stuff. Love it! Dom, man, get the DOM! [Shrieking]
#1: We shall suffer the absence of Dom no more! I am with you, and I will make it so!
Mary Beth: Better, but a tad bit stuffy.
