Meme Time
Kathy has a new meme up. She hasn't tapped me for it, but I'm a sucker for these things, so I'm going to participate anyway. Don't mess with me. I told you I'm having a rough day.If I could be a farmer, I'd work with my family and continue producing the finest seed in Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Colorado, etc. I'd work to expand our sales territory and move the empire to the next level and fend off offers from such mega seed companies as Monsanto, knowing full well we care more than they do...and that's enough for us.
If I could be a scientist, I'd work tirelessly to find an alternative fuel source, preferably one that was renewable that could be grown by this nation's farmers. Something better than ethanol, cheaper, cleaner, and requiring only minimal and cheap upgrades to this nation's automobiles. I would lobby American automakers to understand that the new fuel keeps them in business, while a degrading supply of oil makes their current livlihoods less than certain.
If I could be a billionaire, I would buy my dad a plane, probably a little jet, and give him the money to put in an airstrip on the farm. I would buy another 5,000 or 10,000 acres of land for him to farm, but only if he promised to hire more people and not work so hard. I would buy another 40 acres in the same area as the farm and let my husband build his dream golf course and resort. It would add tourism to the area and provide more jobs to the natives. I know, you are asking "who's gonna go to Western Kansas to play golf?" Have you ever played golf in the high winds of the Western Kansas plains? I understand that it adds an entire new level of complexity that bored golfers might find an exciting change of pace. I would start trust funds for my as-yet unrealized future children, and visit my sister monthly in Bermuda.
If I could be a chef, I would start my own cooking show on The Food Network. I would market my show as "Cooking and Baking with the New Bride" and offer up tasty but simple recipes peppered with personal anecdotes. I would be the more realistic young woman's answer to Martha Stewart. I would offer up practical advice when it comes to dinner parties and planning get-togethers. I would do nothing with pine cones. Never. I would be a delight! And every year would feature a cookie special for Christmas. I would have guests on the show, but not celebrities...real people famous for real meals. I would have a line of cookbooks, but the cookbooks would have a picture of every dish and not be overpriced.
If I could be a lawyer, I would work tirelessly defending the rights of the citizen to keep and bear arms, and to protect their life and property. I would not rest until the reality of the Second Amendment was taught in every school along with gun safety. I would perform the smackdown on Gun Control, Inc. and all those cowardly gun grabbers. I would call out the celebrity hypocrits on their hypocrisy for advocating the banning of guns while maintaining weapons for their own bodyguards.
If I could be a bonnie pirate, I would wear a billowing blouse over leather pants and swashbuckling boots. I would wear a scarlet red sash round my waist and wear my hair all wild and curly. I would only pirate from deserving terrorist states, hoping that my actions would further weaken the hold those in power had on the government. I would help foment rebellion and spread liberty.
Time to pass on the meme, so here's how it works. Below is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you). Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three fine bloggers.
Here's that list:
If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a backup dancer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a midget stripper...
If I could be a proctologist...
Who am I tapping with this? Let's see...how about the Noble Eagle, The Girl Next Door, new blogger Dramatically Journalistic, and The Womanmoose, because she digs memes.
Labels: Meme Time
