News in a Nutshell
Good morning, my lovelies. I humbly present to you this news roundup:First, bad news for "made" men. The US has indicted 14 alleged Chi-town Mobsters. Among the individuals listed in the indictment are "Joey 'The Clown' Lombardo, Frank 'the German' Schweihs, and Frank 'Gumba' Saladino." These gentlemen and others are being rounded up in connection with 18 unsolved murders spanning 40 years. Comically, the Feds are having to really do some travel to catch up with their quarry as some of the gentleman are quite aged and have departed the Windy City for the more friendly retirement climes of Florida and Arizona.
Among the most notorious murders the authorities say they have solved with
today's announcement of the indictment that was years in the making: the 1986
death of Tony "The Ant" Spilotro, the organization's chief enforcer in Las
Vegas, and his brother, Michael, who were buried alive in an Indiana cornfield.
In the mid-1990's, Joe Pesci portrayed a character based on Tony Spilotro in the
movie, "Casino."
In other news, the vile putrescent evil that is Abu Musaab al Zarqawi has once again evaded capture by US forces in Iraq. The scum-sucking murderer was on his way to a secret meeting of murderous thugs in Ramadi when a covert US ops unit closed in on a vehicle traveling the same route. The Americans apparently had prior knowledge of the meet-up and planned to apprehend the excrement en route. When the Americans stopped the car in front, a pickup traveling behind quickly turned around and headed in the opposite attraction. This clearly brought attention to the vehicle, but by the time US forces had caught up with the pickup, Zarqawi was gone. It seems that Zarqawi often has a test vehicle in front of him, bait for the trap, or some such thing. More importantly, it is believed that Zarqawi left the vehicle when it was obscured from view by an overpass and then traveled to a safe house. He left his laptop behind in the car, however, and it is providing some helpful information. US forces arrested the driver, the bodyguard, and the owner of the safe house. Run you filthy rat, run! We'll catch your ass, try you, then give you back to the families of your victims.
And then, fearing a witch hunt in Congress, US Congressmen have been rushing around reviewing and amending their own travel and expense records. There is some concern that this ethics thing aimed at Tom DeLay won't stop with the majority leader. All attempts are being made to appear squeaky-clean.
The US Air Marshal Service will soon be hiring. Goody!
