Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Halloween Scam Artist
I must begin by expressing my dismay at Blogger's current state of down-ness. When I have something to say, I want to be able to do so. Dammit.

Anyhoo, last night was Halloween here, there, and just about everywhere. As such, I dutifully went home and turned on the porch light to beckon the little kiddies to my dungeon and candies filled with uncertain potions and poisons. And the little ones crawled right into my oven. No, wait...that was a different day.

I have a sign up all year round on my front porch that says "The Witch is in." It amuses me to have it up all year round because I imagine the kiddies thinking, "hey, maybe she really is a witch!" And, of course, because of my love of all things Harry Potter. Of course, it must also be said that many of the parents in the neighborhood probably see it as truth-in-advertising. Many have come to the conclusion that I'm the Wicked Bitch of the West for my attempts to prevent the neighborhood from sliding into some sort of 3rd-rate trailer park. Which is another long story. Back to Halloween...

For some reason, our little neighborhood is heavily trick-or-treated. I had to turn the lights off early last year when we ran out of candy. This year I was better prepared and rationed candy from the beginning. I had to be sure I had good stuff for when my favorite kids showed up! I still ended up closing up shop by 6:30 p.m. though. It isn't easy to make mashed potatoes and gravy to accompany the beef roast for supper if the door bell rings every 90 seconds.

The reason for this post is a young man who is studying for a life of crime, I think. Yes! I encountered a Halloween Scam Artist last night.

One time, early in the evening, a large group of trick-or-treaters came to the door. At the front of the group was a young man with no costume. Literally. He was wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and an unbuttoned button down shirt and carrying a pillow case. Despite is obvious lack of interest in anything but my candy bowl and his suspicious lack of spirit, I gave him his 2 pieces of candy. I then proceeded to give candy to the other 10 kids in the group. However, my young friend hadn't left with his candy, but rejoined the group at the end of the line and waited for a second helping of candy.

When he arrived back at the door, I scoffed at him. "Do you think I was born yesterday?" I asked him. He acted afronted, though very poorly. He knew the jig was up and went on his way.

But this is not the end of the story!

About an hour later, another large group arrived on my porch. Mr. No-Costume-Put-the-Candy-in-the-Bag-Lady was in the back of the group. I took one look at him and called him on his crap. "No more candy for you." I said.

"Why not?"

"I'm pregnant, not stupid. You've been here before. Twice."

"No I haven't!"

"You aren't even wearing a costume! Do you think I don't recognize you?"

Whereupon he shuffled off to find some gullible fool who would reward his unimaginative stunt.

What is happening to kids these days? In my day, the young fools of this kid's ilk at least had the nerve to do it better. They did dress up. They just also carried an extra mask with them to change into for round two.

I swear!

You know, if the kid had been dressed in a costume, I might have given him more candy just for his cheek. But he didn't even do me the courtesy of a good laugh for my candy donation. All he did was piss on my holiday spirit. I can't reward him for that.

Lazy kid couldn't even pull off a good scam.


posted by Phoenix | 12:04 PM


Post a Comment

<< Home


Popular Posts:





fighting 101s