Friday, February 10, 2006
Breaking News
This just in:

More cartoons are prompting violence and diplomatic sword rattling. Jacques Chirac, President of France, is leading the French in a revolt over the Looney Toons character that is a dancing and singing frog. The frog appears with in a top hat and carries a cane as he tap dances and sings. The French find this cartoon offensive and derogatory, claiming that it degrades and debases the French character to a bunch of entertaining fools.

President Chirac was reported to have said, "Those Americans! They will not paint us this way anymore! This means war!" Chirac was also have said to have been angered by the haughty and oafish portrayal of "Gaston" in Walt Disney's "Beauty and the Beast."

Quick on the heals of President Chirac's public statements, Russian President Vladimir Putin held an impromptu press conference with members of the world press. "Americans give offense at every turn. It has not escaped the Russian People's notice that the hyenas in Walt Disney's "The Lion King" are meant to portray they proud heritage of Mother Russia in a negative light. Just see if we sign on to any American-sponsored measures at the UN now!" Mr. Putin was said to have tossed his head in the manner of an 8th-grade girl before stalking angrily from the podium.

Closer to home, Ducks Unlimited, the hunting group, is protesting the portrayal of the "proud bird" as a silly and ineffectual and often times morally vague beast, as is portrayed by Daffy Duck. The group is threatening to burn Warner Brothers Studios to the ground if their demands for the immediate retirement of Daffy are not met. Warner Brothers could not be reached for comment.

The Cartoonists Union issued a press release stating, "Things have been taken out of context. The cartoonist's union works to entertain, not to offend. So, where some have taken offense, none was intended. Nevertheless, we would urge the world to relocate its sense of humor and remember that we have a constitutional right to free speech, but there is no recognized right, constitutional or otherwise, that protects one from being offended."

The US State Department Spokesman Sean McCormack called the press corps in for a brief conference. He indicated that his remarks were for the French and Russians and were limited to two words. He said, "Bring it!" before turning on his heels and exiting.

President Bush was caught by reporters as he stepped on to Marine One to fly to Camp David. When questioned about the growing brouhaha over cartoons he affected a voice and had this to say, "Th-th-th-that's all folks!"

This satire brought to you free of charge.
posted by Phoenix | 9:59 AM


>1 Comments:

At 8:37 PM, Blogger The Wizard said...

This is the best I've read today! Funny and clever!

 

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