Celebrity Perfumes: If Truth in Advertising Were Mandatory
This post, by the Sexy Secret Agent Sadie, tickled my funny bone. Sadie mentions the fact that Britney Spears' new celebrity fragrance, titled 'In Control', has been released to the glee of trailer trash everywhere. Sadie tells us what 'In Control' is supposed to smell like, and it made me think of what celebrity fragrances should be named and what they, by rights and my imagination, ought to smell like.Ryan Seacrest - "Pleather" - featuring the delightful scents of fresh naugahyde, pina colada car scent in a can, and petroleum jelly.
Starr Jones - "Abundance" - featuring the glamourous mingling of day-old Dunkin' Donuts, hairspray scum, and spandex under pressure.
Kevin Federline - "Slyme" - a playful melange of Snoop Dogg pocket lint, cheese doodle, ho-ho cream, and cannibis smoke.
Lindsay Lohan - "Skank" - a clever array of earthy scents: puke, hotel sex, and 3-day-old wet mildewing towels.
Paris Hilton - "Hott" - a vexing and noisome blend of gin, bourbon, vodka, semen, and hairspray. To be sold exclusively at Wal-Mart.
Oprah - "Caveat Emptor" - a saucy mingling of fresh plastic, clean paper, and hot receipt whang gently with the smell of suburban driveway tar.
Tom Cruise - "Thetan" - oddly compelling and strangely ambiguous blend of placenta, rubber tires, and toothpaste, with a hint of airplane canned air.
Katie "Kate" Holmes - "Captive" - desperate, cloying mixture of musk of bodyguard, parfume du handler, and whimsical poison ivy, with a fading whiff of farm-girl freshness.
Feel free to pile on.
