Extending the Metaphor
Another Thursday? Already? Then it must be Diva Time!Today's topic for the Demystifying Divas and The Men's Club is:
How do you rekindle the fire in a relationship?
Likening a relationship to a fire is quite apt, in my opinion. Let me explain why by extending the metaphor to answer today's query.
The best way to rekindle the fire in a relationship is to not let it go out in the first place. Consider...how would you keep a fire lit? You would give it fuel and oxygen and keep it safe from gusts. Right?
In the same way, a relationship must be fed (with love and caring and intimacy), give it oxygen (don't let either party become smothered by the relationship but be free to be a person in their own right, separate from the relationship) and keep it safe from harm (by respecting the other party, the limits of the relationship, and following general relationship rules - no cheating).
More specifically, you have to keep things fresh. If the relationship has any longevity at all, you will eventually get past the initial honeymoon phase and things will become routine. Fight the routine, give the fire some balsa wood and cherry once in a while, and leave the hackneyed pine in the box. Play games. Chase each other around the house. Surprise each other. Buy simple little gifts. Practice random acts of kindness on your lover. Do something special for him or her for no reason at all.
But, let him be himself. If he is brooding, let him go to his cave. Do not pester him with questions as to what is bothering him. Do not plague him with your honey-do list. If football is his passion, bring him a six-pack and some homemade nachos to enjoy for that first game, then quickly depart so that he isn't interrupted.
Put his desires above your own. Lick. Tickle. Stroke. Satisfy.
You'll find your way, I have no doubt.
For more suggestions on how to tend the fire, see what the others have to say: Silk, Arielle, Theresa, Jamesyboy, and Mark.
