Grocery Hell
Yesterday, on my way home from work, I stopped at the local grocery store, fondly known in our household as The Wobbly Hog or The Shaky Sow. I literally only needed 3 cans from the canned goods aisle. Naturally, I had my eye on the Express Lane.Ah, but the Express Lane, she was not open. So, I scoped out the other lanes and determined that my best option was lane 3, where I would be next in line behind a woman whose order lacked only three more items to scan. Lane 4 had 5 people in it, each with 4 or 5 items each. I thought, surely, I would get out of there before all of them.
Alas, it was not to be.
You see, the person in line in front of me was an Inconsiderate Idiot. Harsh words? You be the judge.
Once the last of the items had been rung up, the cashier told her the amount due. That's when she discovered that she had forgotten two items. What did she do? She sent each of her kids scampering off to retrieve the items. It seemed like an eternity, but they finally arrived. (I managed to not look at my watch to time them, thinking that would be rude.) So, they each put their items on the conveyor belt and the cashier adds the items to the order. She delivers the new total. At which point, the Inconsiderate Idiot pulls out her checkbook. Why she couldn't have been filling out her check while the kids were doing the scavenger hunt is beyond me, particulary considering how long it took her. We wasted another eternity while she figured out how to complete the check.
Finally, she hands the check over to the cashier and puts the checkbook away in her purse. Then, the cashier asks for her driver's license. This, naturally prompts a new scavenger hunt, this time through the purse. Did you see this coming? Of course you did: the title of this post is Grocery Hell, after all.
Finally the driver's license is located and the transfer of information has taken place.
That's when we hit another snag. You see, the Inconsiderate Idiot had written the check, but not for the entire amount. She had left off the cents on the total. Yes. And she hadn't rounded up, I assure you.
This, of course, prompted yet another scavenger hunt, this time for change. Once again the Inconsiderate Idiot showed how stupid she really is by giving the cashier too much change, by quite a lot. It left me wondering, honestly, if this person wasn't functionally illiterate and innumerate. For the love of God!
Then, the cashier was so flustered that she had to call a manager up to find out how to enter part of the payment by check and the other by cash.
I was completely out of patience. By this point, they had opened up the express lane, but the 5 people who had gotten in line behind me had already clogged that lane. Moreover, the people from lane 4 were all gone too and that cashier had gone on break.
I couldn't contain my cool much longer. I'm afraid I did look at my watch at this point and shake my head a bit.
And I walked out of there 20 minutes later thoroughly pissed off.
As such, I have a few suggestions for the Inconsiderate Idiot, those like her, and the cashiers of this world.
1. If you discover when you are already at the checkout that you have forgotten an item (or two or six), either get out of line or proceed with payment and then go back to shopping and pay again. This is particularly true if you are shopping at 5 p.m. on a week day when people are rushing home and doing last minute shopping. The five people in line behind you will thank you. And I won't be tempted to bash you in the head with your own canned goods.
2. If you can't fill out a check in a speedy manner (or even in a steady manner) do everybody a favor and begin filling out the check at home, leaving only the signature and amounts blank. The whole world will thank you, and again, my canned goods won't get dented.
3. If you can't understand about change, or how to count change, do yourself a favor and get into a remedial adult-learning program. How else are you going to know if you are getting screwed at the grocery store? And how will you count how many times I bash you with my canned goods?
4. If you are a cashier at a grocery and this sort of thing begins in your lane, please request another lane opening and make sure that the person who has been waiting politely the longest gets helped first.
I am not kidding. By the end of 20 minutes I wanted to bash them all in the head with tomato paste.
It is no wonder that I have issues with stress. The world is full of Inconsiderate Idiots!
