To the Rude Road Rage Bitch Who "Introduced" Herself to Me This Morning:
(Warning: Pointed Rant Ahead.)Fellow occupant of the planet:
(I searched at length for another title, but found you undeserving of Lady, Ma'am, and other honorifics.)
Despite what your electric gratification aids may suggest, you are not the center of the universe.
I know, you are shocked.
The rest of us have an equal right to the road. If you are merging onto a road, it is your responsibility to move into the ongoing traffic. It is not, as your flailing arms, rude gestures, shouting, and general fit would suggest, everyone else's responsibility to make way for you. Now, we may choose to do so, as is polite, if it does not trouble our own travel plans to do so.
However, seeing as how my exit came immediately after your entrance, I didn't see the time necessary for me to move over and make room for you. I say again, you are not the center of the universe. America does not recognize any royal titles your gratification device or cocker spaniel may have bestowed. You are no better than anybody else. And perhaps, just perhaps, a good deal worse.
If you find traffic is heavy and your merging into traffic is not as easy as you would like, I would suggest you either speed up or hit the breaks. I'm not going to miss my exit so as to feed your delusions of self importance. Furthermore, your unladylike display of road rage over my seeing to my own safety and travel agenda conveys a selfishness that must be answered. And so, I take out my mightiest weapon - my keyboard - and thoroughly hound you with the embarrassing retelling of your horrid behavior.
I say again, that your merging with traffic - according to the Rules of the Road - is your responsibility. I do not have to yield to you. And, as my exit was immediately after your entrance, I saw it counterproductive to my morning plans to accomodate you.
You can stick your nasty mouth, waving hands, and gesturing fingers in that void where your gratification device resides.
'Cause honey, I don't give a rat's ass.
Get over yourself.
This concludes this morning's rant. Thank you for your forebearance.
