I'm Late, I'm Late, For a Very Important Date
Well, here it is Thursday again and I must put my mind to another Demystifying Diva and Men's Club topic.Today I am tackling yet another question put forth by Andrew. To wit: How to Deal with Your Counterpart's Inability to be On Time.
Andrew seems to think this is a female-only problem. Sure, we run that risk. But think about it, boys...
There is so much more for a woman to do when getting ready. Showering takes us as much time as it takes you unless we have to shave our legs. That can easily add 5 minutes to the clock. Then, where you can simply shave, the ladies have to moisturize, foundation, powder, blush, eyeshadow, eye-liner, mascara, and lipstick. And that's all before we even get to our hair!
Hair can take quite a while depending on the cut and style, but girls with longer hair don't necessarily take more time. Sometimes it is that pesky short cut with the odd spot that won't behave that adds time to the clock as you are trying to tame it.
When we are getting dressed we again have more to do. Seriously! You try putting on nylons without snagging and making them run. Hey! That could be a new Olympic event: Men's Nylon Donning. First snag and run-free donning wins. Of course, then you have to walk around on heels for 5 minutes in a long straight skirt, dodging baby toys on wheels, laundry baskets, and misplaced furniture on a wide assortment of terrains.
Ah, but I digress.
It takes longer for women to get ready to go anywhere, true enough, but that doesn't excuse someone for perpetual tardiness. And this includes men. Andrew would like for me to publicly claim some shame for women everywhere for making our men crazy and late, fighting traffic and running for airplanes, but I can't do it. Men are just as guilty on this front.
My own father, for example, only checks the oil before we depart when we are already at least 5 minutes late. This would also be the time when he decided to top off the window washing fluid too. The rest of us would sit, waiting in the car and gnashing our teeth until he finally sat behind the wheel. SpySistah has to deal with this when she and Mr. Spy travel. A lot. He doesn't like to pack ahead of time...likes to sleep in the morning of...you see where this is going. She frequently threatens to kill him in graphic and creative ways.
If you have a spouse or loved one prone to an inability to be on time, there are things that you can do. If you want to teach them a lesson, leave without them. I wouldn't recommend this for airline travel, but if you are supposed to be at her family's house for supper at 6 pm and she's not ready, go ahead without her. Maybe the embarrassment of being the last to arrive will light a fire under her.
You could always try talking to him, you know. Tell him that it stresses you out to be late to the airport and have to run to the gate. Tell him that it is not fun to start a vacation in a rush. Ask if there is anything you can do to help. Obviously if she can't think of anything for you to do, it should point out to her that she has a lot to do and needs to plan accordingly. Don't make your departure time a secret. If you need to be somewhere at 9 and want to have 1 hour to get there, be sure to make it plain that the bus leaves at 7:45 come hell or high water.
If the person can't be retrained or dealt with reasonably or in an adult manner, lie. Tell them that you have to be there at 5 pm when supper starts at 6. Tell her that the latest news suggests a two-hour traffic and security tie up. Set the clocks forward in the house to make her think it is later than it is. Whatever you have to do.
And if that doesn't work, bean them with the alarm clock once.
As always, you should check out Mark and Arielle.
