Loving More Than One
The topic du jour for the Demystifying Divas and the Men's Club (Party of One) is simple. Can you be in love with more than one person at a time?For the purposes of this essay, I am going to make a few assumptions. First, let us assume that the question refers to romantic love between two people of the opposite sex and not pets, siblings, parental units, friends, or kitchen gadgets. Secondly, let us also assume that "at a time" refers to romantic entanglements of the heart, and not some sleazy menage a trois. Lastly, let us assume that this question refers to living, breathing individuals, and not the love you harbor in your heart for someone dead and gone.
(Deep Sigh)
Okay then, the rules having been established, I shall endeavor to answer for womankind.
It is not possible to really and truly love more than one person at a time. For women, love is very private, emotional, and almost sacred. While many women will easily profess to "being in love" they are really admitting to "falling in lust." Love is more complicated than mere lust, you see. The young, inexperienced woman may fall victim to the confusing of the two things in her head. I call her a "victim" because the confusion of lust with love can be very painful to the unhardened, uncareful heart.
It is easy to lust in many places at the same time. I can lust over Colin Firth at the same time that I drool over Mark Harmon. It is very easy. But, for my real love, the place where I keep my heart, there is only one. There can be only one. I can not segment my heart and divide it like slices of a pie. It is part of me and can be safely entrusted to only one individual at a time.
Those who would suggest that you can love more than one man at a time, I am sorry to say, are deluding themselves. I have heard it all first hand..."I love them both" said in that pouty whine that suggests she is blameless in the sordid matter. The truth is, She is not loving anyone, not even herself. She holds herself in little esteem or is confusing lust and love. Just calling something "love" doesn't make it so. Love is about equality and trust, affection, comfort, sex, and that elusive giving of self. Lust is a chemical response that results in fluid transfer. While there can be lust in love, meaning you can (and should) lust for your true love, the opposite just doesn't hold true.
So, simply put, the answer is no. Women love only one at a time. At least, the nice ones do.
For more scintillating coverage of this engaging topic, please go see what Silk, Ally, Theresa, and James have to say.
