Fuglys, or How Superficial Are You?
This Thursday, the Divas and Gents are tackling the following topic:Have you ever been with someone who was NOT attractive? What made them attractive to you? (Word to the wise - if this is your current flame, don't use them as an example) combined with Would you ever marry/date a person just for their good looks?
To which I say:
Attraction is a personal thing, a private thing, between two people. Just like 'Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder', attraction is a chemical, physical, emotional thing. It absolutely is not a magazine editor's concept that walks and talks. Attraction is a visceral thing that happens when you first "notice" a member of the opposite sex. I use quotes around notice because this can happen on first meeting or after knowing someone for 10 years. It is mental and chemical magic rolled up in a burrito of excitement.
So, have I ever been with someone who wasn't attractive? No. Not in the way the question is meant, where "been with" connotes a personal relationship. Why would I get involved in a relationship where my own interest wasn't engaged? I'm not a whore, and they are the only ones I know whose partners are interchangeable condiments at the buffet. That should tell you pretty clearly that I would never date or marry anyone just for their appearance. I'm not that kind of girl. And just for the record, I wouldn't date or marry anyone for their money either.
I have been with people who didn't fit the GQ mold of beauty, of course. Very few people fit into that tiny-minded superficial box. What made them attractive to me?
That's easy. I find a man sexy and attractive who is confident and intelligent. I am put off by pushy bores and cads. I like gentlemen with wicked wits and who show me just a peek of naughty. An attractive man, to me, is one who can discuss current events and give an opinion that doesn't include what some talking head said. I want a man who can think for himself. The number one sexual organ is, after all, the brain.
Which segues nicely to this bit of conventional wisdom that is absolutely true and good advice:
Beauty fades. Find yourself a smart and funny man and you'll be happy.
Now then, for more on this topic, check out Arielle, Theresa, and Silk. For the male perspective, see what Mark, Jim, and Jamesyboy have to say.
