That Man Drives Me Crazy!
Today, on a very special edition of the Demystifying Divas and The Men's Club weekly topical post, we are tackling Pet Peeves.You know, those things that he or she does that make you gnash your teeth and want to throw the peanut butter. Pet Peeves, and learning to cope with them, are a part of every relationship.
I need to wave the feathered boa in the direction of Andrew, my friend who inspired this post. Poor Andrew, he has adapted to the married life and the toilet-seat edict admirably, but feels that his own requests fall on deaf ears.
My own pet peeves are numerous. As I have posted before, I am a bit of a control freak and like things just so. Prince Charming does a decent job of putting up with me, but still, he isn't perfect. I'm sure there are things that I do that drive him crazy too, but then, this is my blog...
One thing that Prince Charming does that drives me crazy is related to his outerwear. In the summer, this is limited to his baseball caps (in categories of work, casual, and dressy-casual). He leaves them all over the place to the point that they become part of the decor! He even hangs them up on my art in the living room, if you can imagine. It is worse in the Fall, Winter, and Spring. During those times I am also treated to the leaving of coats and jackets all over the place. We have no shortage of closets or hangers, but he is incapable of figuring out what they are for.
And don't get me started on his dirty socks! I swear, they are falling off of him like leaves on a tree in October. I am convinced that they are beginning to reproduce under the bed and couch. Either that, or they have evolved to the point where they are jumping out of the laundry basket on their own.
My friend Andrew, like everyone, has his own pet peeves about his special someone. This is going to happen anytime two people share common space. Either they don't run water in the macaroni and cheese pot, somehow manage to get bread crumbs in the butter or peanut butter in the jelly, or leave the ketchup bottle greasy. There is going to be something he or she does that makes you crazy.
My only suggestions for dealing with these issues so as to minimize their impact on your relationship are threefold. First, see if you can't avoid the issue.
If you are vexed because she always squeezes the toothpaste from the middle in a haphazard and sloppy manner and you are more of a neat bottom squeezer, invest in a second tube. What, I ask you, is wrong with his and hers toothpaste? Invest the $3.00 for your mental health. If you can't stand the fact that she only buys chunky peanut butter and you like creamy, buy both. You can promise to keep your mits off of her chunks so long as she keeps her knife out of your creamy.
If you can't seem to work your way around the issue, try finding a compromise through communication. Tell the person that this or that is driving you crazy. Explain how you feel and offer to hear him or her out on their pet peeves. They may even mention things that you were unaware were bothering them. Perhaps you can trade something you do that drives him crazy for a few less socks molting. If nothing else, communication - if done in a non-confrontational light manner - will at least let the other person know what is setting you off. I would caution you, however, not to try this approach when you are having a bad day and are already pissed at the world. That can end marriages.
The last approach, well..., you aren't going to like it. If you are out of options on working around the issue and compromise through communication has failed, you only have one last option. And that is, sucking it up. Deal with it! You will either need to look past it, learn to love it, or pick up the socks yourself. This may not seem very helpful, but in the end, what is more important? The feeling of losing control over the socks of your world, or staying with the person that makes you melt?
The Divas and Men's Club are hemorrhaging, but I'm still here, posting on the hard questions every week, for your pleasure. I'm going to put some more effort into recruitment in the next few weeks and maybe we'll make another run at it.
