Friday, May 18, 2007
The Drama Continues
This passport drama is a lot like an episode of Alias or 24. Each time we get a little hope, we find out that there is a nuke ticking down with 5 seconds to go.

We found out at 7 am this morning that some people have had luck driving to Chicago and getting a passport without one of those impossible to get appointments. As such, the home team instantly motivated and got things going. I was mid-commute, but I called my mother and sister (henceforth known as the Away Team) and got them motivated and up to speed so that Prince Charming would have someone with him to navigate Chicago downtown. While I was doing this, Prince Charming arranged immediate childcare, packed his bags and the car, and gathered the necessary documents.

In the meantime, I heard back from the Congresswoman's office and was informed that the passport was not in the mail. Soo-prise, soo-prise soo-prise.

I brought the Congresswoman's aid up to speed on this last ditch attempt and she agreed to fax Chicago and let them know he was coming. Of course, she cautioned me that it can take all day and you generally need to be there by 9 am to get served.

He didn't leave here until 8:50 am and has at least 3 hours travel time in front of him before he gets in line. So, we are still in drama mode. We still might not make it. We probably won't. But, we don't want to feel like we didn't do everything possible to get there either.

So, I'm a bit...discombobulated today, waiting for updates and news on the situation.

UPDATE: Insert Hysterical Laughing Here

I just heard back from the Congresswoman's office. You'll never guess what they've been told by the New Orleans regional office. New Orleans finally deigns to read and answer their email and tells the Congresswoman that the application says we are leaving on May 19th, so the passport is going out by FedEx today. I now have a tracking number for a package that contains the passport. Of course, the package still hasn't left New Orleans and won't arrive until after we've already left to go catch the plane, but whatever!

Those assholes in New Orleans are fucking incompetent. You deliver a passport on the day of travel?!?!?!?!?

How the FUCK is that helpful?

We don't have a personal jet parked in our backyard. We actually have to travel to an airport. Our flight leaves at 9:30 am from Chicago. Because it is an international flight, we have to be at the airport by 7:30 am. Which means, were we to not travel down the night before but wait for the FedEx guy to arrive on Saturday morning, the FedEx guy would have to arrive in our driveway by 4:30 am. Anybody think that is going to happen?

Fuck me twice on a pogo stick.

If those assholes can't figure out that somebody might need a passport more than 30 minutes before their flight, they are fucked in the head.

Those sonsabitches dropped the fucking ball and now they are making excuses. "The form said they weren't traveling until 5/19" True enough. We are traveling on 5/19. But, there is no place on the form to indicate what time we are traveling, or from what airport. Bastards! Furthermore, I was assured on Monday that we would have it in our hands by 5/17. They knew on Monday that we were actually beginning our travel on 5/18. And, might I point out, that had I been able to foresee this collosal FUCK UP, I might have had the idea to lie about our date of departure. Of course, that would have had us lying on a Federal Document, a felony probably, and something that could easily be caught seeing as how international manifests are available to the Feds.

I say it again: Those Bastards in New Orleans are a fucking waste of oxygen. They dropped the ball and are now making excuses. Fuck YOU, New Orleans Passport Agency. FUCK. YOU.
posted by Phoenix | 9:02 AM


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