A Medley of Christmas Tales
A Christmas Tale for Travelers
For my intrepid and faithful readers, this is a medley of Christmas Tales, all with a Villains Vanquished ending.
Back when cross country travel was less threatening, my sister and I were daring children travelers, playing the hockey puck between our divorced parents. We’d pluckily traveled all over the nation by plane and eagerly sought new travel routes to add to our list of achievements. One year, we decided to travel from Chicago to Dodge City, KS by…wait for it…train. Yes! We boarded the Southwest Chief and went rolling down the tracks. I should tell you, I was the elder sister and so I was responsible for us both. (I had the money and the tickets, but little authority in controlling my headstrong little sister.)
Anyhoo, the train left the windy city sometime around 6 or 7 pm and we had dinner (pop and candy and chips, I’m sure) and finally went to sleep. Sometime around dark-thirty I noticed the train had stopped. I didn’t think this so strange, afterall, trains do make stops. And, we seemed to get back rolling after a while. However, a little while later we stopped again and this time, it wasn’t in sight or within the bounds of a town. Rather, this time we were stopped in BFE, if you know what I mean. So, as the conductor made his rounds I stopped him and asked the natural question. He assured me that everything was fine, we just had to stop because the tracks were frozen up ahead. ?!?!?!? Ooookay. Apparently the same situation had stopped us outside of St. Louis as well.
The train gets going again, but we are now clearly several hours late. We are inside Kansas, but still not to Dodge City when the train stops again. Naturally all aboard figure the tracks are frozen, but not so! The conductor comes on with an announcement.
“Ladies and Gentlemen: in accord with Federal Regulation, the train must now stop. Amtrak employees have now been at work for the federally stipulated duration and must now cease. We are awaiting a relief crew to come from Flagstaff. The Dining Car and A la Carte Car will be closed. Thank you for your patience.”
Have you ever seen people near mutiny? I have. Drop people in the middle of nowhere and take away their food. That does it everytime. Needless to say, 15 minutes later a new announcement came on. They were reopening the access to food. Good decision. The elderly lady (she could have been all of forty…but everybody is “elderly” when you are 12) in front of us was looking rabid.
Unbeknownst to my sister and I or any of the other passengers, the train’s location was about an hour east of Dodge City. My father was in Dodge City awaiting our arrival. My stepmother, being the wise woman she is, suggested they call ahead to the train station to ascertain if the train was on time. The gentleman who answers the phone and 6 am is not a well-informed fellow and told her only that it was late, “Call back later.” This same thing happened an hour later and another hour after that. Our train had originally been due at 7 am local time.
At 10 am my father was out of patience and insisted on going to the train station. He nicely requested a status report and that got him nowhere. So, in typical daddy style, he threatened Amtrak with kidnapping charges. Personally, I feel he was justified. They had custody, albeit temporary and with the understanding of the parents, but refused to locate us for him. The threat worked and the station told him that we were about an hour east of town.
My dad is an action guy, so what did he do? He drove east, following the tracks until he found the train. (In Kansas this is completely possible as the highways follow the same routes as the train tracks almost exclusively.) He stopped the car on the highway and walked up to the stopped train. (I imagine him storming up to the train, but do as you will.) He then proceeded to knock…yes knock on the exterior of a car. After about 5 minutes of pounding (knocking quickly became pounding) the conductor opened a door to see what was amiss.
“You have my daughters. I want my daughters off of this god&*%$ train.”
This poor conductor had already put off a mutiny, now he was being attacked from without. You had to give him credit, those folks bound for LA on Christmas Eve were never going to make it on time and he was looking at another mutiny before long. He sheepishly asked my father for our names and descriptions and said he would locate us. “You have five minutes,” my dad informed him authoritatively. Apparently threats worked with government employees back then.
Back on the train, my sister and I were munching on licorice and playing a game. Ever the responsible rule follower, I was concerned when the conductor approached us quietly and bent over at the waist to speak softly to us. He asked if we were so-and-so. “Yes,” I said.
Even more quietly he said, “Your father is outside the train. You expected him to pick you up?”
“Yes! But what about our bags?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll locate it. Just gather up your belongings and follow me.” The conductor escorted us to where Dad was fuming. The other passengers wistfully and questioningly watched us depart.
And that is the story of how my dad rescued us from Amtrak for Christmas.
Story #2
Back when I was a junior in high school, I was a high muckety-muck in the student council. That year we were again coordinating the Adopt-a-Family program where individual classes and clubs “adopted” a local family in need and purchased gifts from “Santa” for all members of the family.
The program worked very well. This year in particular, I was responsible for delivery of said gifts to the families. Because of insurance issues and the location of the deliveries, I had to have a police escort all the way to the door of each residence.
So, I approached the door of one home and the officer knocked on the door. A small child came to the door and he asked if “mom” was home. The child pointed to the clearly drugged-out-of-her-mind mother. The officer asked me to wait outside and radioed to another officer helping with deliveries in the same complex. I went back to the car, waiting and wondering what the hold up was until the officer returned to the car with the woman in cuffs.
I don’t know the details, I’m not privy to them. However, that remains in my mind as the next-to-worst Christmas ever and the day when, as Santa’s liaison, I was responsible for having a child’s mother arrested for Christmas. Polly Pocket can’t make up that much ground! I had a hard time getting over that. But, in the Villains Vanquished manner, it appears the bad guys did get it in the end.
Story #3
The worst Christmas on record in my short little life was the Christmas when I caught my stepfather cheating on my mother on Christmas Eve…in the basement…with the victim of spousal abuse that my family had generously taken in to get her out of the hell she inhabited. I had to keep it a secret, of course, else ruin everyone’s Christmas. As a Seething Teenager™ I had a lot of anger about this.
As it turns out, the news didn’t keep very long and I got to be responsible for the ruin of another child’s Christmas. However, he did get caught, and the villains were exposed, so to speak, so again, Villains Vanquished!
Oooee. Did I get too personal on you? Note to self: this may be why we have major issues with infidelity.
Did I harsh your mellow?
