Friday, May 13, 2005
Oh. My. Gawd.

I'm still in shock.

Let's just say that last night's meeting didn't go well. And, I'm considering moving.

...

I am a nice person, generally. I try to be exceedingly polite. I don't want to offend people, but I know that I may sometimes do so without intending to. I want people to feel welcome and free to share their opinions. And I always try not to interrupt people when they are speaking. I think it is rude.

But despite my best intentions, despite a concerted effort at diplomacy, friendliness, and open honesty, I was shouted at, stared down, and called names.

I tried so hard to take the high road and present a reasonable mien of collected calm and logic. I didn't want to sink to that level of name-calling and finger-pointing. And now...now I'm not sure I want to live in the neighborhood anymore.

I requested at the beginning of the meeting that people try to keep their discussion civil and polite. I mentioned the fact that at the end of the meeting we would all still be neighbors, so it would probably be best if we all stayed polite.

So, imagine my surprise when sour-faced woman stands up in the back of the room, points, and shouts, labeling me a snob. She said other things too, it went on for quite a long while, but I can't even remember what she said. I was in shock. It was just the sort of the personal attack that I had specifically tried to avoid. Boy howdy, was she angry!

I swear to you, I don't know why I got labeled "snob." She's the one that passed the petition to try to get "those nasty undesirable condos and duplexes" kept out of the neighborhood. She's the one who complains about people complaining about their 4 snowmobiles and boat. I'm the snob? I don't think so. I only want to preserve my property values and start a neighborhood watch. I don't give a good goddam about her fucking snowmobiles or boats. I only signed her petition to get her off my porch while my husband was sleeping.

I have never NEVER never been anything but polite to her. But if she's going to be belligerent and rude...well, let's just say I'm not going to take it lying down.

I, too, went to high school, honey. I've got a black belt in passive-aggressive. I am the Fucking Grand Master of Bitch. I've practically got a doctorate, with a masters in stubborn and feisty. You don't want to fuck with me. Hell hath no fury like me when I am full of righteous indignation. You think you can take me? Lady, you better think again. Nobody pushes this chickie around. I'm nobody's whipping boy.

I was polite this time, but you should not expect me to do the same next time. Next time I will be vocal and remind all of our neighbors of your hypocrisy. I will remind them that it is your children who speed through the neighborhood that are likely going to kill some toddler one of these days. I will remind them that if anyone puts off "superiority" vibes, it is she at the back of the room who points and passes judgement with her holier-than-thou steely-eyed sour-pussed glares and condemnations. I will remind them of the "snob" who wanted to keep the undesirables out - those people who live in condos and duplexes.

And just so we are being perfectly clear, please heed this warning. If your dogs wander un-supervised onto my property, I'm calling the cops. I'm going to start videotaping the antics of your habitually unsupervised children, the menaces of the neighborhood. And if you ever, EVER, ever so much as step foot on my property again, I'm going to consider it a threat to my safety and call the cops. Oh, and my husband wishes me to inform you that we have plenty of guns and ammo in the house to more than protect ourselves.

I'll shoot intruders first and ask questions later. I've already escaped violent rape once. I'm not going to allow anybody ever again to attempt to victimize me.

So, I respectfully suggest that you step off and reconsider. For I shall not be so polite next time. Oh, and don't forget, I'll be documenting EVERYTHING.
posted by Phoenix | 7:43 AM


>2 Comments:

At 1:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't sweat the small stuff Phoenix. The Mrs. and I are periodically labelled "snobs" for spending $$$ to send our kids to a private school, rather than sending them to the "highly rated" public schools in our town. (In the "highly rated" high school, we had an incident where an "excellent" student brought in a "wonderful" shotgun and tried to shoot some "brilliant" fellow students. Fortunately, he was disarmed by a couple of "outstanding" faculty members, but not before shooting one of them in the leg with some "highly rated" buckshot.) We just ignore the naysayers and do what we think is right for our kids. Oh, and we've NEVER criticized anyone for choosing to send their kids to the public schools. The criticism only flows inward, not outward. Funny how that works.

OK, that being said, here's today's lesson. Pay close attention, there'll be a quiz later.

They say: "You think you're better than I am."

They mean: "I think you're better than I am."

 
At 1:52 PM, Blogger Phoenix said...

Dear ne,

Thank you. I mean it, thank you. I volunteered my time to start an open discussion, and have invested my own money with no hope for reimbursement. It really rubs me raw (you might have noticed) to be treated this way.

But I love your take on it. "They mean: 'I think you're better than I am.'" I love it! That is exactly the right attitude!

And, as far as I'm concerned, they can get glad in the same pants they got mad in.

I'm not trying to take over the world, Pinky. We'll do that tomorrow!

 

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