Monday, August 22, 2005
My Quirks
Kathy, my favorite Cake Eater, has perpetuated a meme and I'm a sucker for these. So, bear with me.

The meme has one list 5 quirks/idiosyncracies and admit to them in all of their shamefulness. So, here's mine. This should give you a look into my brain that creeps you out.

1. The way towels are folded. Oh, man. Am I a freak, or what? I don't like for my towels to folded except in the Phoenix-approved way. Each size of towel has an approved folding method, as do different classes of towels and different location towels. Bath sheets must be folded in half, half again, and then in thirds. They must be stacked in the linen closet with folded edges facing out, not loose edges. Regular size bath towels must be folded in half three times and stored with folded edges facing out. Hand towels are to be folded in half, and then in thirds. Standard rule about folded edges facing out applies. Washclothes are folded in half, with tag hidden, then stacked with edges all facing north when stored. There is another system for kitchen towels and car cleaning towels. God help me, I'm a freak.

2. The location of kitchen equipment. This is a big deal to me because I despise having to look for anything, particularly in my own home. The kitchen is a big deal to me because I love to cook, but also because this is the space in my home most likely to come under attack by semi-authorized and unauthorized individuals. (Semi-authorized would include Prince Charming.) I am a control freak, I know. For example, I have a cannister of kitchen utensils sitting on the counter next to the cooktop. These are items that are meant to be used daily, but that I have no vested concern for. If one disappears or doesn't make it back to the cannister, I won't send out a search party. Then, I have a drawer specifically for Prince Charming's grilling tools. These items are NEVER to mix with mine. Why? Simple. It is because I don't want him rifling through my storage spaces looking for something. So, he has his own drawer. I have a premium equipment drawer. This is MY equipment. Do not use it without asking unless you'd like to lose an arm. Within this drawer, there are dividers. Items in one section should not stray to another section. If you do take your life in your own hands and use one of these utensils, you'd damn well better put it back where you found it. Furthermore, the large majority of these tools are never to see the inside of the dishwasher. Some, however, are permitted this method of cleansing. I don't have the time to itemize the list, so let's just say you should leave it in the sink if you aren't going to handwash it yourself. But that isn't all! If you use my small wisk and anything happens to it, you may not survive the night. Never, ever, ever abuse my good spoonulas. If you mistreat my Wustof Santoku knife, I'll be using it on you. Never use a knife of mine to pry anything open. Never use my knifes to open cardboard or plastic. That's what I have a kitchen scissor for! Do not nest my bowls in an unapproved order. The clear glass should be on the bottom, holding the two blue-glass bowls. The large collander belongs on the topmost shelf in the baking cupboard, not in the plastics drawer. And on and on it goes. My kitchen is a very dangerous place for the untrained. Prince Charming's training is coming along quite nicely.

3. My lists. I make lists. Lots and lots of lists. Then I cross things off of lists. When a list becomes mussed by numerous crossings-out, I remake the list. I have long-term lists, short-term lists, and daily lists. I have project lists, grocery lists, and wish lists. I have a mental list of all of my lists. I have a serious list problem. I do not like to lose a list. I like to always have my lists with me, and be able to make a new list on the go. Don't make fun of my lists, or you'll end up on my list, if you know what I mean.

4. Key Problem. I have a problem with keys. When I was growing up, my mother used to lose the keys all of the time. It was a perpetual problem that consistently meant a key search preceded nearly every departure. She didn't just lose them either. Oh no! She locked them in the car, in the house, and other places. So I'm a freak about keys. I have a rack just inside the garage, for the placement of keys. Hang the keys here. This way, you can grab them on your way out the door, and have a place to put them when you come back. You won't have to look. If you take the Jeep, for heaven's sake, put the keys back on the peg - and the appropriate peg - when you return. Do not leave my keys in the ignition. Do not leave my keys in your pant's pocket, your jacket pocket, or the bottom of some sack. It isn't difficult to comprehend. Just put the keys on the peg. Then I won't have to kill you.

5. I hate to be late. I despise being late. I can't stand it when somebody else makes me late. I would rather be 45 minutes early than 5 minutes late. It doesn't matter what the occasion is either. I am consistently 15-20 minutes early for work. If a party starts at 2:30, you can expect me at 2:30 unless I let the hostess know I have a conflict and will be late. If I have a doctor's appointment, you can expect me to be at least 15 minutes early. I plan ahead so that I won't be late. I find people who can't be on time tiresome because I view this as their inability to plan ahead. Now, I'm not saying that unforeseen things can't happen to make you late. Of course they can. That is why I plan and allow for plenty of time. It is just that, in my experience, it is always the same people who are late for everything. They just can't be on time. I don't know if they are just unlucky, if they fail to plan, or if they just don't consider punctuality a virtue. It doesn't matter. They vex me.

So, there you have it. I am frighteningly close to having full-blown OCD. Scared yet?


posted by Phoenix | 10:49 AM


At 12:32 PM, Blogger The Game said...

Damn...we have a lot in common...

I have lists all over the list of things to do, a list of what time to do those things, another place for the list to be so I remember about the list...

I lose my keys every day...I get really mad when I have to go somewhere and can't find my keys...

I hate to be late, but since I have figured out everyone else is always late and I hate to stand around, I have stopped being as punctual...

At 11:43 PM, Blogger amelie said...

priceless saying my mother imparted upon us, "if you're early, you're on time. if you're on time, you're late. if you're late, you're left behind." true, it had to do with some major traveling, but it still applies.


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