Another Desperate Ploy for Attention
Boo-hoo. My name is Valerie Plame. Boo-hoo, I couldn't do better than marry this stupid jackass, Joe Wilson. Boo-hoo, boo-hoo.I'm such a poor, pitiful character. Boo-hoo-hoo.
I must do something more to bring myself into the spotlight and headlines. I know, I know!
I'll sue those Bushitler minions who ruined my life. And put me in danger. Ya know, 'cause I'm the kind of secret agent that poses for Vanity Fair and let's her husband list her name in Who's Who. Super Double Top Secret Agent that I am.
'Cause it would be ever so cool to get to be on magazine covers in a scarf and sunglasses again. Did I mention that I'm a Super Double Top Secret Undercover Agent who rides a desk at Langley as my cover? I'm like so freakin' cool!
In fact, you don't know this, but I like totally rock. For reals. Like one time, I went and had lunch on the Mall and this pigeon came and pooped on my shoe and I totally threw a rock at it. And it totally died!
I'm licensed to kill (houseplants) and handle chemical weapons (hairspray).
And those evil Bushitler minions are gonna pay.
They are going to supply me with Hermes scarves for life. 'Cause they're so mean. And now I can't do my secret lunch missions with the pigeons anymore.
