Warning to Idiots:
I am not suffering fools very well at the moment. I'm about as tense as I get...and that ain't pretty folks.Yesterday was sheer hell for someone as detail and schedule-oriented as I. For example, I had this silly appointment yesterday to turn in my Personal Wellness Profile (you may remember I posted about it asking me if there was a gun in the house). This appointment was scheduled for 2:30. I anticipated leaving for it by 1:45 because you just can't count on Madison traffic since they have East Wash leading up to the capitol torn up. And naturally, this had to be done at Meriter Hospital (okay - I could have gone to Fitchburg - but frankly, that is even more inconvenient). You know, some East Side Venues would not have been a bad idea...ARGH.
Anyway, I couldn't leave until I finished this one task. Unfortunately, my ticker was not talking to the Excel file and I had to reboot. ARGH again. So, I finally leave the office at 1:55, worried that I'm now going to be late to this thing that I'm already vexed about.
I get off of 30 on E. Washington and head south. I get almost through the construction zone when...train. Freakin' train. F-R-eakin' train. I was not pleased.
For those who are unaware, Madison, WI sits between two lakes - Lake Monona and Lake Mendota. Some idiot, many years ago, decided that the best place to put the capitol, the University, and all of the major hospitals was on the peninsula between the two lakes. A peninsula, by the by, which is probably not a full mile wide in places. That fact alone would make for interesting traffic, but add to this the fact that the trains can't run through water and you have a mess. And the opportunity to do as I did yesterday afternoon, and get caught behind the same train twice. TWICE! In the space of a distance of less than a mile! It was almost three times, but I gunned it through the last intersection knowing that the train was right behind me.
When I got to the hospital, I discovered that their take-a-ticket-and-park system wasn't working. This meant that everybody was parking there for free. Which, ipso facto meant a serious lack of available spaces. In fact, I even did the right thing and passed up two spots because they were specifically reserved for people visiting particular departments. So, I was three minutes late to my appointment. ARGH! I don't need this stress!
Earlier in the day, when I was making our airline reservations, I had a run-in with a phone system. This particular airline has a phone system that lies. LIES, I tell you! You dial the 800 number and it says it will be happy to let you talk to a person, but to ease the call flow, it wants to get some info first. It gives you some options, and I chose "existing reservations."
It then asks, among other things, if you want to make a change. Indeed! I did wish to make a change - I needed to add Bunny to my itinerary (she flies as a lap infant, but still has to be on the flight manifest and my ticket). I confirmed my flight number, my name, the airport, that time of the month, and right on down to the color of my socks (just a slight bit of hyperbole on the last two, but you get the drift).
Finally, having satisfied the disembodied voice, I am hoping to be placed on hold to wait for the next available customer service agent. But alas! the disembodied voice said goodbye and hung.up.on.me. All I can say is, if she hadn't been disembodied, she would have been, if you know what I mean. Insanely, I called back and tried again fearing the mistake was mine and I hadn't waited long enough for the clicks or something.
Nope, that didn't work either. But I still needed to make the change, so I called back a third time. I chose different secondary options on the menu and ended up even angrier at the disembodied voice's cheerful "goodbye."
But then, I wised up. I called back a fourth time and indicated my interest in NEW reservations. I walked through the system, again giving them the airport, date, flight, etc., and then got to speak to a real human. She said her name was Vicky.
"Hello, Vicky. I'm sorry, but I have to admit to a bit of subterfuge. I'm not actually interested in a new reservation. I have tickets, but your stupid phone system kept cheerfully hanging up on me. I'm hoping you can help me add my infant to the itinerary."
She seemed kind of vexed. The pause on her end was decidedly pregnant. I got the distinct feeling that she disapproved of the deceptive manner in which I had received a human being on the other end of the line. Get over it, Vicky! I didn't say YOU were stupid...yet.
And then, perhaps sensing the fact that I was riding a thin line between sanity and postal worker, she consented to "take care of that" for me. Thank God, because it could have gotten really ugly ifyouknowwhatImeanandIthinkyoudo.
I'm tense. I have this anxiety. I am not sleeping well. I have had the same headache for two days. It is right behind my right eye. Maybe it's a tumor. Okay, that's not funny. But, it makes me happy to hear in my head Arnold saying "it's not a tumah, it's not, it's not a tumah." "Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina." Great movie.
Did I mention that I had to fast for that Personal Wellness Profile? I didn't have anything but water (okay, and 6 m&ms) from 6:00 PM Tuesday night until 4:30 PM yesterday. Did I mention that I am not a happy person if I can't have caffeine?
No doubt this did not help on the whole dealing with planes, trains, and customer service things.
Phoenix needs a mani, a pedi, and a serious nap. And, maybe a hug.
So, heed this warning, Idiots of the World: I'm barely holding on at this point. Do not give me a reason to unload...
