Ultimate Level of Hell: Customer Service
I have recently discovered that the truly wicked go to a special part of hell. Namely, Customer Service.I went to the post office on Friday afterwork. I arrived at 4:35 p.m. and the door said that they were open from "8 am to 5 pm, Monday - Friday." However, once I got inside, I immediately realized that the gate had been shut and they were no longer "helping" customers. So, I rang the bell indicating my need for service. It was then that I saw the sign over the closed window that said "Open 8 am to 4:30 pm, Monday - Friday." So two different signs. It seems the door is open until 5 pm, but you can't get any service after 4:30 pm. Handy, huh? They weren't even close to being helpful.
Earlier in the day Friday I was wrangling with a computer company's customer service line. Somebody tell me why you have to answer the same slew of questions three times before anyone will actually speak to you about your problem? The disembodied voice who answers the phone requests info then repeats it to make sure HeShe has it correct. Then, you are put on hold (an equally evil, less intense level of hell) to await your first human contact.
This human, to whom English appears to be a second language at best, speaks so rapidly you have no idea what they are saying. You begin to wonder if they are speaking fast because they are jacked up on caffeine from the need to be awake and at work at 3 am in Upper Bangladeshi, or where ever they are. In no time you find yourself answering the same questions that the disembodied voice asked and return to the hell of hold.
Finally you are transfered to yet another person, equally English-challenged, who re-asks the same questions you've already answered twice. But, this person at least seems interested in helping you, so you forgive him. He asks you the nature of your trouble and you inform him you need to know when FedEx will be picking up your broken computer for repair. He returns you to the land of hold so that he can look into that for you.
"Yes, Ma'am. That will be picked up on August 2nd." Said in a heavily accented obsequious manner.
"Well, that's a slight problem. I don't know what day it is where you are, but it is August 5th here." Can you tell I was frustrated?
"Ah, I see the problem. " Clever boy. "I put you on hold again, please."
"Okay. That be pick up on Monday, August 8."
"But I was told on Wednesday that it would be picked up today."
"No. Monday. You see."
grumble grumble. Click.
For more excellent evidence of Customer Service Hell, read this vintage Villains Vanquished post.
