Day From Hades
Yesterday? Sucked. Big Time. I'm talking professional suckage. It was like the perfect storm of "oh crap!"From the outset of the day I was busy. It was data day for me at work and I had all kinds of data to compile and record and blah, blah, blah, I turn around and miraculously (ta-dah!) I have lost three hours of time. And by lost I mean, I blinked and the markets and closed and I had a whole new list of things to do. Finally, at 2:30 pm, I get to go to lunch. I have errands to do, so lunch is going to be a working lunch, but no matter. I am equal to any task, or so I thought.
Lunch went fine and I got most of my stuff done, but as I am rolling the windows up on the Jeep to go back inside I hear a horrid grinding/crunching noise from the automatic window mechanism in the driver's side door panel. And the window? She stops going up.
So, I call my husband to inform him of this latest problem and he calls his mechanic buddy (and Best Man) to see if he can take a look at it. Fabu! We make an appointment for me to meet him at a little after 5 p.m. So, after work I head straight to JoAnn Fabrics so as to find and purchase all that I will need for Bunny Boop's Halloween costume (Renaissance Lady, thank you for asking).
Have you ever been to a fabric store? Let me impart a weird little cosmic truth, sort of the Murphy's Law of Fabric Stores. Here it is:
When you are in a hurry, the line at the cutting table will be 40-deep and only one pair of scissors are working. Things will only get worse. The pattern will require something you've never heard of and that the clerks/cutters can only guess at. Moreover, you will find that you can't find what you want in the notions department.
But, if you are not in a hurry, you'll find exactly what you need in no time flat, there will be no waiting at the cutting table, and you'll find that you are eligible for some phenomenal special sale price.
Yesterday was not an example of things going my way at the Fabric Store. I had a hard time choosing the pattern. I had to settle for fabrics instead of finding what I wanted. I couldn't find anything in notions. It didn't help that the whole darn store has been reorganized to the point that you can't find anything but seasonal items and cupcake tins. Then, I finally got to the front of the cutting line and heaven help me, I found myself being helped by a talker. She had to tell me - gush really - about all of the Halloween costumes she has made for her 12 grandchildren and how adorable.... Now, I'm all for the gushing and the stories, but her talking was seriously impeding the cutting of my fabric. Which is impeding my exit from the store. Which is impeding me arriving (already late) for my window appointment. Which has the potential of making me late for Chapter.
I finally arrive at the Best Man's house thirty minutes late. And I just hate that. I hate it! I hate to be late because it gives people the impression that I am not in control of my schedule and it makes me feel like I am not...in...control...of my schedule. (I hear Christina's voice in my head saying "Type A, anyone?")
Needless to say, I stand there, fodder for the mosquitoes who are imitating a WWII dogfight over my head, as though I am the target and they are not going home until the target has been destroyed. Best Man disassembles (Stephanie! Remember that movie?) the driver's side door panel, comes to some conclusions, and then says it will be easier if he clamps the window up and doesn't reattach the door panel cosmetic layer. And by easier, naturally he means for him. But, I am happy with the half measure because it gets me back on the road.
So, I close the door by grabbing onto the side of the door, giving it a pull, and then quickly removing my hand from the slam area. (No handles, folks. No buttons. Just me and the metal.) I drive down to the gas station to fill up (the one thing I didn't get done at lunch) and I realize that the interior cabin lights have not gone off. Enough time has passed that they should have. So, after filling the tank with $2.93/gallon gas (ASSHOLES!) I make my way back to Best Man's house because I don't want to be stranded in downtown Madison with a dead battery at 9 p.m. He is on the phone so I wait patiently for him to conclude his conversation.
Finally he comes to see the newest problem and fixes that. I am back on the road, but I am now so late for Chapter that I'm going to be sneaking in the back, not that it matters too much because they aren't taking attendance on me, but it doesn't set a good example, ya know?
So, I sit through the second half of Chapter and then attend another meeting in which I find that my work is seriously cut out for me and I have to gently inform someone that their best efforts are not as great as they could be. But, I sweeten this news with an offer of baked yummies for the next meeting, hoping I haven't inadvertently snuffed anyone's creativity or zeal for the job. It is a fine line, let me tell you.
Oh - but wait! I missed the most stressful part of the afternoon.
As I am standing in the fabric store trying to decide on notions, Prince Charming calls and asks where I am. Am I at Best Man's house yet? Nope. Gonna be a bit late. I call him back when I am in the car headed to Best Man's house and he tells me he has a problem. He is watching Bunny Boop while I am out and about and informs me that she has gotten into the Desitin and has probably eaten some. (Lord, forgive me. I wanted so badly to laugh!) I told him to call poison control. Whereupon he told me that he was trying to when I called! Thoroughly chastened, I hung up and redialed SpySistah and asked her to google the key words in this latest problem. She gave me the answer and I rang Prince Charming back.
"Give her some water, watch her carefully, and she may have some diarrhea."
"Yeah - Poison Control said the same thing."
"Okay then, I've got to talk to Best Man."
"Let me know what he says."
So, I finally get home at around 9 p.m. It would have been earlier but I gut stuck behind a train (of course! what else?). I arrive to find that the child is mightily unhappy and distinctly not in bed asleep (where she should be at that hour). Not only that, but Prince Charming hasn't eaten. I calm the child down, put her in cooler pj's, preheat the oven, get Bunny in bed, and then slide a frozen pizza into the oven. It is hot as blazes in the house. The windows are open, but there is no breeze to speak of and I am still wearing my dress clothes for work/Chapter. And now I understand what those Calgon commercials were trying to sell.
The only good news is that today can't possibly be worse.
