Thursday, November 03, 2005
Breaking the Pink Code
It is Thursday again and you know what that means. Yes! Another installment of the delightful goodness that is the Demystifying Divas and The Men's Club - now with improved absorbency.

This week's topic returns us to the normal light-hearted topics we love so much. To wit: Who typically has the upper hand in different stages of a relationship, a man or a woman?

Now, I don't know what the other Divas will have to say about this, but I'm going to tell you the truth. I am sort of breaking the Pink Code here, but it needs to be said.

The fact of the matter is, a smart woman always has the upper hand. The beauty of this truth is, in firmly having the upper hand, she can let the man think he's really in control. It is delicious.

Now, this is a truth that women are born knowing. It is the same power that enables us to wrap our daddies around our pinkie fingers. But somewhere in adolescence and puberty, some young ladies forget the power they hold. I don't know if this is caused by the way women tend to tear each other down, or if it is a simple case of lack of self-confidence, but some women forget.

They buy into the notion that men have the upper hand and feel as though they are trapped, adrift in the sea of love like flotsam carried on the incidental wave. To these women who have forgotten their inherent power, I say, "Start Paddling, Girls!"

The power lies in the knowledge. You are woman! Roar! Men are well and truly mystified by you. It is the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you push your hair back, toss your golden locks, and smell. It is a realm so foreign to turns them into jelly. Make them jiggle, girls! And then, back off ever so gently and let them have a degree of comfort. Let them adjust to this new environment. Let him believe he has finally cracked the code.

Then pull the carpet out from under him. Just like that. It is best to keep a man slightly uncomfortable. They will treat you better for it.

Now, I caution you to not overdo it. Men aren't toys to be played with at will. They are more like engines. They need to be fueled and lubed regularly. They like to be warmed up on cold mornings and run hard at other times. Do not forget that preventive maintenance is key to the longevity of your relationship. It is a good thing to appreciate a good man. Proper displays of appreciation will ensure the continued goodness of your engine.

Now, some would suggest that this truth of women always holding the power would fall apart in matrimony. I will not lie to you, sometimes it does. But, I would stress that this only happens when ladies relinquish the power. It is yours! You own it! He can't take it from you, but you can give it away. Do not do this! It is a nightmare trying to get it back.

In matrimony, it can be easy to let your practice of the power get a bit rusty. I strongly advise against this. If you let your man get too comfortable, you too may get too comfortable. You will forget to keep him in thrall. He will then forget that his position is tenuous, and you won't be treated like the Princess you are.

I am not suggesting that you lord your power over him. This doesn't work any better in grade school than it does in matrimony. No. You have to play it smart. Think of it as high-stakes diplomacy. Here is a nation that intends to lay claim to your heart. The successful negotiator would make certain that she gets full value for the property, right? Tit for tat. If you enter into these sophisticated talks wearing a "Psycho Chick" t-shirt and treating everyone like crap, you will find they have little interest in your fruited valley.

Charm them. Enthrall them. Know your quiet power lies in the quiet, waiting. Do not let them solve the mystery. Who is more interesting and enthralling: Grace Kelley or Madonna? Let that be your guide. A man is not something to beat down anymore than you should allow yourself to be beat down by him. You should elevate your man to a loftier position. His treating of you as a Princess dictates his elevation to Prince. Treat him as such (even if you are perfectly aware of all his scratching places) and you will always have the power. Just remember: the first play in the book, never to be forgotten, is to let him think he has the power.

Now, anyone who tells you differently is either unwilling to break the code, lying, unschooled in the truth of the power, or... male.

Get thee gone and see what the other Divas and Gents have to say. You can always count on Kathy to add valuable content to the discussion, and Silk, too, will have much of importance to say on the matter. Guest posting for the Divas this week is Paula, see what she has to say. The Gentlemen, too, will have their say. Go see what Phin, Jamesyboy, Stigmata, The Maximum Leader, and their guest TeaFizz have to say.
posted by Phoenix | 7:46 AM


At 10:43 AM, Anonymous silk said...

You are a crafty and saucy little minx with a heart of gold it would seem.

Brilliant take.

At 10:49 AM, Blogger Phoenix said...

I admit, I had my fun with this one.

At 10:56 AM, Blogger Kathleen Nelson said...

Jeeez, girlie...Henry Kissinger's got nothing on you!

At 10:57 AM, Blogger Phoenix said...

I may be what you might call a "power broker".

At 11:17 AM, Blogger TeaFizz said...

"power broker"?

"Puppet Master" seems more appropriate to me...

At 12:19 PM, Blogger Paula said...

I love your post. Mine's up now, too. A very different take from yours.

At 4:28 PM, Anonymous Nugget said...

Excellent take on the subject..

Might be tempted to disagree on a few things, but hey, I'm just a guy and having the upper hand is something I can only dream of having ;o)


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