Thursday, June 01, 2006
Fashion Police
I have officially reached that age.

My teenage sister was complaining last night that she didn't have anything to wear to graduation. I went into my closet and pulled out a really cute floral off-the-shoulder babydoll and above-the-knee dress that is super cute. I urged her to try it on. It fit and looked beautiful.

However, she took it off and informed me that "nobody wears that kind of floral anymore", as though I am some doddering grandmother trying to force her into Buster Brown shoes.

I was more than a bit offended. I don't blame her for wanting something new, I'm just offended because of how she portrayed my age. I'm 33, not 83, for cripes sake.

The dress is cute and she looked hot in it. I even thought the off-the-shoulder aspect would appeal to her inner tramp. But no. I'm an old fuddy-duddy. Sign me up for polyester, elastic, and unisex slip on shoes, I guess.

All of which segues into another gripe on fashion.

Why is it that nobody makes anything but trendy crap anymore? Weren't the 70s plenty the first time around? Do we really have to relive the fashion nightmare of that decade for another decade?

I am sick unto death of the low-riding hip-huggers, the chenille, the macrame, and the sloppy flower-power look. I feel a bit of bile rise up over what passes for daily casual wear these days. Too-tight tees and jeans with a bit of thong showing, bras showing, super-thin t-shirts with inane slogans, short-shorts that aren't acceptable as a swimsuit coverup...ARGH!

I am a preppie, I admit it. I like clean lines and crisp pleats. I like fabrics that breathe, small prints, and leather handbags and shoes. I am stymied when I try to go shopping, because it seems that if you aren't a lesbian mountain climber or a whore, you are SOL. I count myself as neither of those, thank you very much.

I have searched the globe for a replacement pair of sandals like mine that are a bit too worn, but nobody makes them. Not even the company I bought them from.

I have searched for a pair of soft twill pleated shorts, like my favorite pair, but no one makes them anymore.

I have searched the globe for a replacement for my Ralph Lauren "Big Oxfords" that after 10 years have holes in the elbows, to no avail.

What is a preppie to do? I should start my own clothing line, I guess, but seeing as how I lack celebrity status, I might have trouble getting it off of the ground.

Pisshammers. It sucks! The world of fashion has abandoned me and I am no longer cool, according to teenaged wisdom.

I'm not saying that my wardrobe is nothing but preppie plaids and headbands. I have other items too. I have a feather boa, for goodness sake! I have skirts that conjure flappers and others that conjure more romantic eras.

I'm just tired of this 70s crap. Even the 80s would be better!
posted by Phoenix | 11:58 AM


At 6:04 PM, Blogger bobgirrl said...

If I see one more thong peeking out over the top of one more waistband, I'm going to scream. I see this at work even. I've even encountered female butt-crack at work (and I'm not a plumber for crying out loud). No woman should be allowed to buy a pair of pants without sqatting down in them first and checking to see if anything is visible above the waistband. I'm making this a rule.


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