The weather today is foggy and cold. Just in time to freeze the flowering plants I put out in the exuberance of yesterday's balmy promise of spring. Mother nature wins this one. I'll while away some time today reading and ignoring the compost she has made of my endevours. That'll teach her.

This afternoon, as I was driving home from work, I spied a...well, let's just say a bumper sticker that I didn't understand.

I'm not generally an idiot, though I have my moments. But this one didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I understood the words, but not the message. It said:

I will admit my ignorance on this issue. I don't understand why the authorities are so offended by the request that a polygraph test be captured on video.

I refer, of course, to the nation's latest missing woman, one Jennifer Wilbanks of Georgia. She was to be married to her fiance tomorrow, but went missing while out jogging. Her fiance reported her missing, and of course, he is the chief suspect in the police's view at this time.

Her fiance, John Mason, took an independently administered polygraph and that one was negative (not tying him to the disappearance). The cops want him to take their test - I get that. But why this:

The fiancé and his lawyer have requested the police polygraph to be videotaped, something Belcher said no law enforcement agency “that’s worth anything” would do. Belcher said negotiations about the polygraph would continue. Mason’s lawyer did not immediately return phone calls to elaborate.

What's the big deal? Maybe Noble Eagle or So Cal Lawyer will know...but I sure don't. It seems to me that if the test is fair, performed in the approved manner, that there should be no problem with documenting it. I would think, actually, that it would be done as a matter of course. Why isn't it? Anybody know? I realize that these things are usually unadmissible in court...so what's the damage? Wherein lies the risk?

Somebody, please, enlighten me!

Oh golly. Oh my. oh my, oh my.

That feels soooooo goooood.

That's amazing! Yes! Yes! Yes!


Are the boys blushing yet? Good.

That should have been enough of a warning. Now then, having my orgasmic moment out of the way, I will proceed.

Ladies, I am in love. Not with a man, not with a diamond, not even with a new Oroton handbag.

I have found IT. You know what I'm talking about. The Bra. The Bra to end all bras. The bra that you where but forget about. The bra that is so comfortable it actually lives up to the hype. I speak of the new Ipex bra by Victoria's Secret. It is divine. I mean it! Divine! Sublime. Ooowwee.

I was skeptical, I admit it. Too often they are just interested in charging you $45 for something that has input costs totaling maybe $5.00. But my sister liked hers, and we all know that as an "actuary" (really we still think she's a spy) , her bras come under some pretty stressful conditions. So I gave it a try. I ordered one of the Angels and one of the Body by Victorias. I like the Angel one better because it is prettier, but they are both divine. So nice, in fact, that I'm going to order a few more!

Men don't understand bras - or breasts for that matter. This should maybe be a topic for the divas...I don't know. All I know is, most men seem to think of breasts as toys. You know, the x-wing fighters of their adult world. Very few men I've met have not been utterly fascinated by breasts. Touch, squeeze, twist, twit, they do love to play.

But, they don't understand the burden of having breasts. Nor do they understand that they bigger they are, the greater the burden. First of all, ladies, I think we all agree that a perfect fit is rare. It just doesn't exist! It doesn't matter if you are a 32A of a 40DD, fit will always be a problem. But comfort is a bigger issue. What would men do if their scrotum weighed 4 pounds? They'd need some support, right? Some comfort...and maybe something to stop the chafing. But women carry the load everyday, sporting "over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders" with little compassion from the boys. You get itchy bras, sweaty bras, bras that cut into your shoulders, etc.

So when you find one that you like, a smart girl stocks up! For example, two favorite bras ago, my favorite was made by DKNY...but they discontinued the design. Then I found one in a catalog that I liked and ordered one of those in a trial. Eureka! A new favorite bra! So I ordered several then found that that well had also gone dry. So now? Now I will stockpile some of these for the dry days.

Why do the companies do that? Proven product with loyal customer base..."Eliminate it". No sense whatsoever.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that there is a lot of stuff that I don't like at Vicky's. But this one, I endorse and recommend to sisters and friends.

Try it, you'll like it.

Everybody else has weighed in on this topic, so why can't I?

It was this article where Arnold praises the Minuteman project that provoked me to ring in.

I want to preface my thoughts with this though: I am not a racist. I don't care who you are or what you look like. Come into the US legally and I'll never bat an eye.

I'm actually from the Southwest, in an area where there are lots of both legal and illegal immigrants from countries to the South. We also have lots of immigrants from the Philippines.

But this area is particularly rural. We don't have a lot of industry. Hell, there's only 2,406 people in the county where I'm from! Agriculture is THE industry here. We have immigrant employees working on green cards. But, there are also illegals in the area. And...for such a place lacking in tax base (nearly all of the tax base is farmland) local services are burdened with the illegals. This is a county with 1 hospital. One. It is not the kind of place that can afford a lot of uninsured care, where the county picks up the tab. More often than not, other problems arise as well. Only these additional problems also get into the county's pocket in that they require the attention of our very limited police force. I think we have one sheriff and three duputies IN THE COUNTY. That's a huge area to patrol (680 square miles) and only a few bodies to get it done.

Most of the immigrants, legal or illegal, are well-intentioned. Unfortunately, a few bad apples can ruin the bunch. And whether it is the adult or the child causing problems in the community, unfortunately, everyone knows exactly who is to blame. Everybody knows everybody else's business.

Look, we are all immigrants, not matter how many generations you are from the boat. But, there is a difference between a legal immigration and an illegal one. I understand wanting to feed your family, but acting within the law must be a priority. If you'll break the law to enter the country...do you honestly feel the need to follow all of the other laws?

Here's an example for ya, right from my hometown:

There once was a large family headed to the high school to watch the oldest son in a sporting event. The rest of the family was all piled into the same vehicle. The children ranged in age from high school to quite young. The family followed all of the vehicular laws in their efforts to get to the school. However, they were almost all killed when an illegal immigrant unlicensed driver completely ignored a stop sign and plowed right into them. The family had the right of way, but it didn't matter. In a few moments, a family was decimated. The few members that weren't killed instantly had to be flown out to bigger hospitals. That ignorant sob killed a family...except for the teenage son that was still at school preparing to go on the field.

And let us be perfectly clear here. Site of the stop sign wasn't impeded by trees. This is the High Plains: flat vistas where you can see forever, uninterrupted farm land for miles. Either the idiot was ignorant of the rules of the road and didn't recognize a stop sign, felt himself above the law, or was attempting suicide. I for one refuse to excuse him no matter what the deficit was on his part.

So, if you ask me, I would have to say that I too support the Minutemen. I believe you should come into this country legally and live by its laws. Then, become a naturalized citizen. But if you are just going to be a burden to the community, sucking at the teat of social services, go to Europe. It would be cheaper for us to buy you a plane ticket than a lifetime of welfare and other services.

I know that this view is not popular on the left. But please note that I believe the law should be sancrosanct. We are involved in a war where people want to sneak into this country and blow up kiddies in shopping malls. Now is not the time to invite all comers to the grand buffet without a bouncer checking their invitations at the door. Moreover, the leeches prove an unbearable burden on small communities and reduce the benefits to legal beneficiaries.

That's all I have to say about that.

Amazing article, simply amazing! Read this story of the Iraqi who pulled Saddam from his hole. And read the entire thing. It is amazing!

h/t: Cold Fury

1. Hasan Akbar gets the Death Penalty. Story is here.

Jurors took about seven hours to reach their decision Thursday. Last week, the
same 15-person military jury took just two and a half hours last week to convict
Akbar of premeditated murder and attempted premeditated murder.

The sentence will be reviewed by a commanding officer and automatically appealed. If Akbar is executed, it would be by lethal injection.

2. Several of the networks cut off President Bush's address last night in mid-sentence...to switch to May Sweeps programming. Bastards! I swear! Don't they have a responsibility to the public? Would it have killed them to start their regularly scheduled programming later in the evening? It just pisses me off!

3. Noble Eagle is a bit peevish today. He sounds off here about the incessant filibuster and nuclear option. Once again, he hits a home run. My favorite parts:

Make your case to the American people and then do what needs to be done. If
you lose your next election, so be it. Victory belongs to the bold. There's no
room for pussies in the winner's circle.

...

This threat is a lot like a child threatening to hold his breath if he doesn't get his own way. He might make good on the threat, but he can't hold his breath forever. The Dems will cave quickly enough without their snouts in the trough.

...

(W)hat Republicans do now is irrelevant to how Dems will treat them in the future. First the GOP had the nerve to "sieze control" of the Congress in 1994, then they "stole" the election in 2000. The Dems have gone ballistic. The GOP has committed a mortal sin; they took power from them. There can be no atonement for this sin. No matter what Frist & Co. do, no quarter will be give to Republicans if the Dems ever get back in control of the Congress.

Be sure to catch the trivia at the end of the piece! Too funny.

4. Fiesty Christina points out Boileryard's interest in news of bin Laden's mistress, Kola Boof. I'm with Boileryard Clarke. Somehow, I too missed this news. She's writing a tell-all about the evil one including such insights as his love or fascination with "Rock Lobster" by the B-52's and his "freaky" sexual proclivities. Fox News did an interview, the text of which can be found here.

I've got the shivers now. Sleep with the goat-fucker? Rape I understand, he'd have to force me too, but then becoming his mistress? Not this chick.

Villains Vanquished would like to take this moment to wish Saddam Hussein, ex-President of Iraq, a very Happy Birthday today.

We hope your prison cell is tidy and that you get better treatment than your own prisoners did. Certainly a murderous degenerate like yourself deserves a birthday wish, so you can take your pick today of a raping, a trip through the wood-chipper of hell, or the mutilation of the body part of your choice. We know you are homesick for the good ol' days, so maybe this will make you feel better.

Cox and Forkum have your birthday card here.

Labels: Birthday, Cartoons

Two for you today.

Juice Newton "Angel of the Morning":

Just call me angel
Touch my cheek before you leave me baby.
Just call me angel of the morning morning
Just touch my cheek before you leave me baby


Helen Reddy "Delta Dawn":

She's forty-one and her daddy still calls 'er "baby"
All the folks 'round Brownsville say she's crazy
'cause she walks downtown with her suitcase in her hand
Lookin' for a mysterious dark-haired man

In her younger days they called her Delta Dawn
Prettiest woman you ever laid eyes on
Then a man of low degree stood by her side
Promised her he'd take her for his bride

Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on?
Could it be a faded rose from days gone by?
And did I hear you say he was a-meetin' you here today
To take you to his mansion in the sky-eye?

I have never read any Douglas Adams books, including The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Can you place all of the states in the correct places?

The first time I did it, I missed by an average 24 miles. The second time, I missed by an average of 10 miles. Hint: it depends which order it gives you the states to place.

h/t: Llama Butchers

Pierce Brosnan is set to appear again as the sexiest of spies, James Bond.

This man just gets better looking every day. Yum-my.

h/t: Drudge

Chrenkoff has a hilarious post up this morning. You must read it.

I don't even have to add anything, Arthur Vanquished the Villain perfectly. On the matter of the anniversary of Abu Ghraib, Ted Kennedy said,

"Top officials in the Administration have endorsed interrogation methods
that we've condemned in other countries, including binding prisoners in painful
'stress' positions, threatening them with dogs, extended sleep deprivation, and
simulated drownings."

Arthur quips:

Ironically, Senator Kennedy himself drowned more people than American
interrogators. As James Taranto would write, "Mary Jo Kopechne could not be reached for comment".

hahahahahahahaha!

Read the rest of it, as they say.

Congress tells you that Social Security should not be your only retirement plan. They remind us that it is a stop gap and was never intended to fully provide for you in your twilight years.

So, on one hand they say that it is not going to give you enough, and then? Then they tell you that you little people can't be trusted to invest any part of it on your own. In summary, they say: it won't be enough, but you can't do anything to increase it.

Well isn't that a fine how-do-you-do?

I find their supercilious "we know better than thou" attitude to be incredibly offensive. They can't keep to a budget, but I balance my checkbook every month and never run in the red. They bicker and fight like a bunch of 4-year-olds, but the only time I ever run into conflict it at least reaches high school girl level and is usually limited by my foe's intellect, not mine. They run into scandals over their behavior all the time. I don't cheat on my taxes or my husband, and am pretty honest all the way around. They act like petty drama queens, I am a professional. And most importantly...if I can be trusted to vote, to drink, be old enough to serve in this country's army and die for our ideals, raise children, own a handgun, and handle Restricted Use Pesticides...don't you think maybe I can make a determination about my own retirement plans?

Ah - you see how little they trust me? No wonder. If it was up to me they'd all have to get real jobs and work for a living!

It is just so insulting! Social Security is little more than a Federal Pyramid Scheme. The people at the bottom (that's you and me) fund the cats on top. In principle, it sucks. I'm not working for my retirement, I'm working for Grandpa Joe and your Auntie Mame. It isn't for me. Nobody in my generation believes there will be anything left in the cough "lockbox" cough. It is insulting that Congress keeps pushing the lies. And John Kerry, my favorite whipping boy? He insists that there is no urgency in the same breath that he speaks about the direness of the insolvency.

The man talks out of both sides of his ass. And both sides are still lying.

It wouldn't have to be mandatory, but a voluntary program where you got to invest some fraction of your contributions to someplace other than the Federal Amway Boondoggle might go a long way toward averting the day when Gen X takes over Congress and we decide to let y'all rot in your Lazyboys.

'Cause that's how I'd vote today!

Labels: John Kerry

Last night on the Amazing Race we watched as the last four teams traveled from Jodhpur,India to Istanbul, Turkey. The teams have been whittled down to Uchenna & Joyce (the young married couple), Meredith & Gretchen (the older married couple), Rob & Amber (the engaged couple of Survivor fame), and Ron & Kelly (the POW and the Beauty Queen).

I usually enjoy this show. But last night, wowee, little miss Kelly really infuriated me.

She and Ron are traveling in some taxi en route to some task or other. He starts talking about how much of the world there is to see, that it puts him in mind of putting off starting a family of his own for the other things in life he wants to do. My guess is he was just filling the air time with some of that oohing and aahing over foreign vistas that is so commonplace and overdone on this show. But Kelly takes offense at his comments. The gist of what she said:

I'm done waiting for you! I deserve better! I'm not going to sit
around and wait for someone who says that everything in life is more important
than me. You've never been able to commit to anything in your life!

Whereupon he said, heavy in sarcasm:

Yeah. I've never committed to anything. I only was committed to
the military and made it my life.

And she replied, b!tchily:

You got out of that though, didn't you?

He said:

What do you mean?

She explained:

You were a POW and got out.

Phoenix blows a gasket.

He treats her to a smackdown:

You think I planned to get captured? I knew all along that they wouldn't
kill me?

He went on from there, but I don't remember it all and I feel it wasn't enough of a smackdown, so I'm gonna take the b!tch to task.

Hey, Rich B!tch Beauty Queen: You suck! You are toast! You must be the very definition of selfishness not to realize that this young man has been through hell, all in the service of this great nation. I realize that you had to learn a bunch of trite crappola for the interview phase of each pageant, but maybe if you had a heart you could have gone farther, but then, you would have actually had to feel what you were saying.

To even suggest that a member of our armed services lacks commitment because he exited service after being captured and rescued is morally bankrupt. Perhaps you would value him more had he died on the battlefield, in a crash, or been tortured to death. What you said was horrible and hurtful. You were merely throwing a temper tantrum over his lack of eagerness to make you a bride, I get that. But I gotta tell ya, based on what you said, I wouldn't be so eager either. I don't blame him a bit. As a matter of fact, I would have left you behind in the race so you could get over yourself.

You arrogant ignorant b!tch. You aren't worthy of him (or any other human).

You are a despicable creature. Exhibit A: your recent yahoo search.

Go home, you pervert. I think the coppers are knocking on your door now.

Sometimes I wonder about myself. You know, like "I shoulda been a...." So, lacking anything of real interest to write about today, I'm going to delve into this line of thought a bit.

Perhaps I should have been a torch singer. A sultry and sassy singer in a nightclub, band backing up my vocals. Wearing sequined and beaded gowns like a somebody. I love to sing. In my imagination, I could have been great!

Or, perhaps I should have been a lawyer. I can imagine me litigating as a Constitutional Lawyer. That would have been great.

Or what if I had joined the military? Then my famous organizational skills could have been put to use for the betterment of the country. I don't know if I would have liked the haircuts though. My hair is naturally curly and has a mind of its own and harbors distinctly rebellious tendencies. Would I have risen through the ranks...or been in trouble for not towing the company line?

It would have been interesting to be a public relations manager, but I'm afraid the prima donnas would have driven me to drink.

I would have made a fabulous debutante. I have a keen sense of fashion and a dramatic flair. Not to mention the fact that I am rather good at the veiled insult. All of that pampering wouldn't have hurt either. I could devote my time to charitable works, then go shopping!

Good morning, my lovelies. I humbly present to you this news roundup:

First, bad news for "made" men. The US has indicted 14 alleged Chi-town Mobsters. Among the individuals listed in the indictment are "Joey 'The Clown' Lombardo, Frank 'the German' Schweihs, and Frank 'Gumba' Saladino." These gentlemen and others are being rounded up in connection with 18 unsolved murders spanning 40 years. Comically, the Feds are having to really do some travel to catch up with their quarry as some of the gentleman are quite aged and have departed the Windy City for the more friendly retirement climes of Florida and Arizona.

Among the most notorious murders the authorities say they have solved with
today's announcement of the indictment that was years in the making: the 1986
death of Tony "The Ant" Spilotro, the organization's chief enforcer in Las
Vegas, and his brother, Michael, who were buried alive in an Indiana cornfield.
In the mid-1990's, Joe Pesci portrayed a character based on Tony Spilotro in the
movie, "Casino."

In other news, the vile putrescent evil that is Abu Musaab al Zarqawi has once again evaded capture by US forces in Iraq. The scum-sucking murderer was on his way to a secret meeting of murderous thugs in Ramadi when a covert US ops unit closed in on a vehicle traveling the same route. The Americans apparently had prior knowledge of the meet-up and planned to apprehend the excrement en route. When the Americans stopped the car in front, a pickup traveling behind quickly turned around and headed in the opposite attraction. This clearly brought attention to the vehicle, but by the time US forces had caught up with the pickup, Zarqawi was gone. It seems that Zarqawi often has a test vehicle in front of him, bait for the trap, or some such thing. More importantly, it is believed that Zarqawi left the vehicle when it was obscured from view by an overpass and then traveled to a safe house. He left his laptop behind in the car, however, and it is providing some helpful information. US forces arrested the driver, the bodyguard, and the owner of the safe house. Run you filthy rat, run! We'll catch your ass, try you, then give you back to the families of your victims.

And then, fearing a witch hunt in Congress, US Congressmen have been rushing around reviewing and amending their own travel and expense records. There is some concern that this ethics thing aimed at Tom DeLay won't stop with the majority leader. All attempts are being made to appear squeaky-clean.

The US Air Marshal Service will soon be hiring. Goody!

She who recognizes the indelible memory of a shaking butt in faded blue jeans.

Faith - George Michael

Well I guess it would be nice
If I could touch your body
I know not everybody
Has got a body like you

But I've got to think twice
Before I give my heart away
And I know all the games you play
Because I play them too

Oh but I
Need some time off
from that emotion
Time to pick my heart up off the floor
And when that love comes down
Without devotion
Well it takes a strong man baby
But I'm showing you the door

'Cause I gotta have faith...

Baby
I know you're asking me to stay
Say please, please, please, don't go away
You say I'm giving you the blues
Maybe
You mean every word you say
Can't help but think of yesterday
And another who tied me down to loverboy rules

Before this river
Becomes an ocean
Before you throw my heart back on the floor
Oh baby I reconsider
My foolish notion
Well I need someone to hold me
But I'll wait for something more

Yes I've gotta have faith...

Kathy has a new meme up. She hasn't tapped me for it, but I'm a sucker for these things, so I'm going to participate anyway. Don't mess with me. I told you I'm having a rough day.

If I could be a farmer, I'd work with my family and continue producing the finest seed in Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Colorado, etc. I'd work to expand our sales territory and move the empire to the next level and fend off offers from such mega seed companies as Monsanto, knowing full well we care more than they do...and that's enough for us.

If I could be a scientist, I'd work tirelessly to find an alternative fuel source, preferably one that was renewable that could be grown by this nation's farmers. Something better than ethanol, cheaper, cleaner, and requiring only minimal and cheap upgrades to this nation's automobiles. I would lobby American automakers to understand that the new fuel keeps them in business, while a degrading supply of oil makes their current livlihoods less than certain.

If I could be a billionaire, I would buy my dad a plane, probably a little jet, and give him the money to put in an airstrip on the farm. I would buy another 5,000 or 10,000 acres of land for him to farm, but only if he promised to hire more people and not work so hard. I would buy another 40 acres in the same area as the farm and let my husband build his dream golf course and resort. It would add tourism to the area and provide more jobs to the natives. I know, you are asking "who's gonna go to Western Kansas to play golf?" Have you ever played golf in the high winds of the Western Kansas plains? I understand that it adds an entire new level of complexity that bored golfers might find an exciting change of pace. I would start trust funds for my as-yet unrealized future children, and visit my sister monthly in Bermuda.

If I could be a chef, I would start my own cooking show on The Food Network. I would market my show as "Cooking and Baking with the New Bride" and offer up tasty but simple recipes peppered with personal anecdotes. I would be the more realistic young woman's answer to Martha Stewart. I would offer up practical advice when it comes to dinner parties and planning get-togethers. I would do nothing with pine cones. Never. I would be a delight! And every year would feature a cookie special for Christmas. I would have guests on the show, but not celebrities...real people famous for real meals. I would have a line of cookbooks, but the cookbooks would have a picture of every dish and not be overpriced.

If I could be a lawyer, I would work tirelessly defending the rights of the citizen to keep and bear arms, and to protect their life and property. I would not rest until the reality of the Second Amendment was taught in every school along with gun safety. I would perform the smackdown on Gun Control, Inc. and all those cowardly gun grabbers. I would call out the celebrity hypocrits on their hypocrisy for advocating the banning of guns while maintaining weapons for their own bodyguards.

If I could be a bonnie pirate, I would wear a billowing blouse over leather pants and swashbuckling boots. I would wear a scarlet red sash round my waist and wear my hair all wild and curly. I would only pirate from deserving terrorist states, hoping that my actions would further weaken the hold those in power had on the government. I would help foment rebellion and spread liberty.

Time to pass on the meme, so here's how it works. Below is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you). Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three fine bloggers.

Here's that list:
If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a backup dancer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a midget stripper...
If I could be a proctologist...

Who am I tapping with this? Let's see...how about the Noble Eagle, The Girl Next Door, new blogger Dramatically Journalistic, and The Womanmoose, because she digs memes.

Labels: Meme Time

I am not having a good day. My back has been aching for 2 days now, causing me pain and grief. This morning, I get a hysterical phone call that for a full 5 minutes I was completely unable to detect any message in. No static, just hysterical screaming and crying. So now I'm dealing with that. Then, somebody said something that didn't really shock me, but illucidated an intent that had been heretofore suspected but not confirmed. Now it is confirmed, and I can't help but feel...disappointed and saddened.

I would love to go back to bed. I didn't sleep well last night as it was difficult to get comfortable with the back ache.

We had a lovely evening Saturday night with the friends. However, I now remember why I stopped drinking champagne. Should not have started up again Saturday night. Egads. Felt like crap Sunday morning and all I had was three glasses. With framboise. We ate (potstickers and italian flatbread with spinach dip, and of course the Wisconsin necessity of cheese and crackers, heavy on the cheese) and drank quite a bit. We played the DVD edition of Trivial Pursuit. Boys vs. Girls. And, once again the ladies served the men a dish of defeat. We smoked 'em! When we had all of our pie wedges, the guys still only had one!

Went another round with Prince Charming later that night over politics. He presented his opinion, then said, "Nothing more will be said about this. Not in my house."

So you know me. I'm nobody's little slave girl saying "yes, massah. whateva you say, massah." I let him have it. I pointed out to him that he can't express his opinion and then deny me the right to express mine. I, unlike so many, was raised to have an opinion and encouraged to express it. If he wanted some namby-pamby 1950s wife, he should have shopped elsewhere. I know it is my strength that he admires, but this not being entitled to an opinion has got to stop! I called him on that His House crap too. Last time I checked, it belonged to both of us, but apparently at that moment he felt otherwise. I know he simply misspoke, but it fed into the whole valueless feeling thing that I've had going since I left my career as a mover and shaker to move to Wisconsin, get married, and take a job doing little more than converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

He persists in labeling me a "Republican." He refuses to hear my protestions. So I'll tell you all instead. I am not a Republican. I am a Libertarian or an Independant. I am fiscally conservative and disagree with most so-called social programs. I believe that my civil liberties are first and foremost and that they must be protected at all costs, beginning with my Second Amendment rights. I happen to find more to agree with the Republicans than the Democrats. Primarily, I am 800% anti-terrorism, don't want my children to grow up in a culture of fear, and know that this particular foe sees diplomacy as weakness. Therefore, I am all for taking the fight to them, which means I supported Bush over Kerry.

Prince Charming says I get mail from the Republican party and that is proof. Tell me. Am I responsible for every person who might send me mail? Blech. How am I responsible for every mailing list on which my name appears? I get spam from all of those male enhancement places, but lacking the equipment, I'm not really their target demographic. But, according to Prince Charming's theory, I am a middle-aged bald man who can't get it up. All of which makes our marriage something I'm certain he wouldn't be comfortable with. Can middle-aged impotent men get pregnant? Only in a Schwarzenegger movie.

He apologized and we went to bed with no hard feelings. But for a minute there, I swear, I was looking for a cast iron skillet.

But today has not started well, and it is only 8 a.m.

Crap.

Oh, I ... Ohhh I ... I love the nightlife,
I got to boogie on the disco 'round, oh yea.
Oh, I love the night life,
I got to boogie on the disco 'round, oh yea.

Please don't talk about love tonight.
Your sweet talking won't make it right.
Love and lies just bring me down
when you've got women all over town.
You can love them all and when you're through,
maybe that'll make, huh, a man out of you.
I got to go where the people dance.
I want some action ... I want to live!

Action ... I got so much to give.
I want to give it. I want to get some too.

Oh, I ... Ohhh I ... I love the nightlife,
I got to boogie on the disco 'round, oh yea.
Oh, I love the night life,
I got to boogie on the disco 'round, oh yea.

(I love that part "maybe that'll make, HUH, a man out of you!")

Oh. My. Gawd.

!?!

A Myanmar woman wins the Villains Vanquished Earth Day Idiot Award.

Why? Because she's breastfeeding her seven-month-old infant son...and two Bengal Tiger Cubs.

Sure, why not? Talk about Teflon Tits! (Emphasis Mine.)

Three times a day, the Myanmar housewife goes to the Yangon Zoo
where she breastfeeds the hungry black-striped, orange-brown cubs rejected by their natural mother.

“The cubs are just like my babies,” Hla Htay told Fuji TV as as one of the baby big cats suckled her breast.

...

The zoo says the breastfeeding will stop by the end of April or when the cubs start teething — whichever comes first.

Good Lord, I'd hope so! (shiver)

I'm a cat lover, but no way in hell would I volunteer for this onerous duty!

I'm still shaking my head over this. eeee-yowtch.

Internet Freedom for Bloggers. Good news can be found here at Red State.

h/t: Michelle Malkin

The first chapter of the blog western is here! Hurray!

Dax Montana has done a beautiful job. It is quite compelling and I can't wait to see what happens.

My very sincere thanks go out to Feisty Christina for bringing this about.

This post by the indefatigable Chrenkoff is a must-read. Go. Click now.

Henry Hyde, Republican Illinois Congressman, goes on the record saying that President Clinton's impeachment might have been retaliation for Nixon's.

What a crock!

Yes. It was politically motivated. However, I think it had more to do with Clinton than Nixon. And I think that suggesting otherwise is dishonest and reckless. Politicians have long memories (except for when it comes to their own indiscretions), but 20+ years? I don't buy it. I simply think that the Republicans wanted to hang Clinton with a pair of panties. They had an opportunity, and they seized it. Let's face it...there was plenty of scandal during the Clinton years. They wanted something to stick. But it had nothing to do with Nixon and everything to do with bringing President Clinton low.

What a load of crap.

h/t: Drudge

A military jury only needed two and a half hours to decide that Sgt. Hasan Akbar was guilty of murder. This is the case of the rogue soldier who attacked a tent in Kuwait with grenades and rifle fire in the days leading up to the war. This same jury will reconvene to determine if the death penalty should be recommended.

Killed in the middle-of-the-night attack were Army Capt. Christopher
Seifert, 27, who was shot in the back, and Air Force Maj. Gregory Stone, 40, who suffered 83 shrapnel wounds. The 101st was preparing to move into Iraq in support of the U.S. invasion when the attack occurred on March 22, 2003.

...

Akbar, who turned 34 Thursday, was convicted of two counts of first-degree murder and three counts of attempted first-degree murder. Jurors nine officers and six non-commissioned officers had the ability to consider lesser charges, but chose not to.

If sentenced to death, Akbar would become the sixth soldier on military death row at Fort Leavenworth, Kan.

So Cal Lawyer has more here.

Take the quiz and see.

I got an 80%...not bad.

The Capitol Dome, all lit up. Now, if only they'd stop bickering and do some work. 

Honest Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States. Freakin' Huge! 

The Jefferson Memorial 

The Lincoln Memorial 

Amazing words. Apt. 

Thomas Jefferson, third President of the United States. Larger than life. 

This is currently hanging on my front door. It cheers me. 

Close Up of our pear tree in bloom. 

Another tree in bloom. 

My trees are in bloom! Isn't the pink pretty? I love this tree. 

I may take some pictures this afternoon and post them.

We'll see.

The following is a Villains Vanquished Public Service Announcement:

Mother's Day is only a little over two weeks away. You forget this holiday at your peril. Do not forget to shop. You will regret it. Seriously. Get her something nice. Red Envelope has some nice things. Or, you could always go Godiva.

Just do something, okay? Order online today and just wait for the UPS man to arrive. That way you can rest peacefully for the next few weeks knowing you have done a good thing. (And avoided the guilt trip.)

This has been a Villains Vanquished Public Service Announcement.

So. I found out that our favorite spy (spy sistah) has taken up a new "hobby." She's learning to "sail." So, if she isn't a spook, then I'm really jealous because I've always wanted to learn to sail. And if she is a sexy chick kicking bad guy ass and saving the world on a regular basis, then "sailing" is probably code for "learning to disarm a thermonuclear device." Hey, I can't help it if she always brings this stuff up after I've watched Alias.

Prince Charming and I are having friends over to the house Saturday night. We are going to light the fire and make s'mores. Drink. Play games. Drink. Drink some more. Should be fun, but then, we always have fun with these folks. That's why they are our friends. Who wants to spend time with people you don't like? That's what family is for. So, you know the obsessive-compulsive me. I'm fretting over the menu, even though my Prince and I have said this is totally casual. I can't help myself.

I finally got back on the treadmill last night after way too long. Gotta get that back into my daily routine. 45 minutes. Not too shabby.

This seems to be turning into a daily thing. Who knew? This one from Aerosmith.

I want to be your lover
I wanna wrap you in rubber
As pink as the sheets that we lay on
Pink is my favorite crayon, yeah
Pink it was love at first sight
Pink when I turn out the light
Pink it´s like red but not quite
And I think everything is going to be all right
No matter what we do tonight

Apparently I have a full head of steam on today.

Congress is making me want to throw things. Actually, it is mostly the Democrats who are vexing me at the moment. First there is the kerfuffle over the judges, filibusters, and straight up or down votes. Now there is this newest brouhaha over the Ethics Committee. They haven't yet met because the Democrats of the group have decided to take their football and go home. Petulant as a bunch of 6-year-olds refused a box of cookies, they have not been attending the meetings, effectively shutting down operations.

Why are their panties in a bunch? Well, mostly sour grapes. The Republicans now control both houses of Congress, and in typical "to the victor go the spoils" operating procedure, the Republicans changed some rules for the House Ethics Committee. It isn't clear whether the Dems dislike the new rules, or are just being pissy on principle. But, I suspect they are being pissy on principle.

Why? Well, because Republican members of the Committee promised to initiate an investigation into alleged ethics violations by House Majority Leader and Republican Tom DeLay. You would think that this group of namby-pamby bitchers and moaners would wet their panties to sling mud at a top Republican in an official forum. But no. They rejected the offer out of hand. Not interested. Why do you think that is? Hmmm? Is it possible that there are a few Democrats whom the spotlight of the Ethics Committee also must needs be trained upon? I wonder.

You can find more info here, by the way.

My issue is this: These individuals serve at the pleasure of their electorates. In the meantime, they are not accountable for their actions, depending on how irresponsible and reprehensible they want to be. Not the way you and I are anyway. What I mean is...they have been elected. Nothing can really be done to them until they come up for reelection. You and I have to live with our decisions on a daily basis...they just have to make the 9 months ahead of the reelection campaign look good.

I feel that if you can't make it to votes, if you boycott or fail to attend committee meetings...you should have to give up part of your salary for every instance. Maybe we could get some work done if that was the case. I'm not unreasonable. I am even willing to give them 2 personal days off in every session free of charge. I just think there should be consequences for those that stand in the way, like there are for those of us in the private sector.

Because it is at least two years 'til we can throw the bastards out.

Do you know what really pisses me off?

Members of the media who persist in referring to President Bush as Mr. Bush. It is so aggravating. It denies the office and its power and authority. It comes off, at least to me, as a petty child's antics or...blatant stupidity. Do they not know that The President of the United States is not the same as the corner grocer? Mr. Bush is not his title. "Mr. President" or "President Bush" are the correct ways to refer to the man and the office.

It irks me. Do your homework.

I saw him dancin' there by the record machine
I knew he must a been about seventeen
The beat was goin' strong
Playin' my favorite song
An' I could tell it wouldn't be long
Till he was with me, yeah me, singin'

I love rock n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n' roll
So come an' take your time an' dance with me

You know who you are. The ones that can prove that 2+2=5.

Kathy has an interesting tale for you today regarding the stolen birth of calculus. Click and read, my lovelies.

Non-math geeks will also find it interesting.

I stumbled across this article in my morning google.

Norway makes a type of cheese called Gamalost. The Vikings originally made this fromage over 1000 years ago and believed it to have special properties. They put it on wounds to further the healing process and believed it had the ability to fend off common colds and provide energy. Most interestingly, and this is the sexy part, they held the cheese in high esteem for passing on to the consumer "enhanced sexual prowess."

However, the cheese appears to be an acquired taste. Teenagers despise the stuff, prefering blander cheeses, because Gamalost smells like a "dog's bed." Mmm. Tasty!

But what I found hysterically funny this morning were these two quotes from the article about how the cheese is made. Historical Method:

The locals call it "Old Cheese" from the days when the cheese was made in
the summer, on the mountain dairy farms and took a very long time to mature.
Skimmed cow's milk was left to sour, heated, and then the curds were placed in
cloth-lined wooden boxes, wrapped in dried marsh grass, and the aging process
would begin. Every other day, for many months, the dairy maids would pull the
boxes out from under their beds, where the cheese was stored, and rub the cheese
by hand to help spread the bacteria evenly. By Christmas the cheese had
fermented to a brownish gold color and was ready to eat.

Or the faster, less labor-oriented method:

"Take some cheese, stuff it in an old sock, bury it in manure under the barn and
when it is ready, it will crawl out."

While that is certainly descriptive, I'm not inspired to gnaw on some Gamalost. I generally avoid things that escape being buried in a sock under a pile of manure, whether they crawled out on their own power or not.

And so, in the vein of all things cheesy for this beautiful Wednesday:

C: Aah, how about Cheddar?
O: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir.
C: Not much ca--It's the single most popular cheese in the world!
O: Not 'round here, sir.
C: and what IS the most popular cheese 'round hyah?
O: 'Illchester, sir.
C: IS it.
O: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire.
C: Is it.
O: It's our number one best seller, sir!
C: I see. Uuh...'Illchester, eh?
O: Right, sir.
C: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any?' he asked, expecting the answer 'no'.
O: I'll have a look, sir... nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.
C: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?
O: Finest in the district!
C: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.
O: Well, it's so clean, sir!
C: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese....

Yesterday, this post by Kathy caught me just as I was logging off for the day, so I'm just getting around to commenting now. Please forgive my untimliness; I do have a life to lead, you know.

Anyway, the delay just means that my bile over the thing had time to fester and rot. Warning: Rant Ahead.

For those not keeping up, someone named Mamamontezz (I feel dirty just for linking) has decided that our beloved Demystifying Divas don't make the 'diva' cut. I'm saying bullsh!t.
She calls them a "silly little echo chamber of femaleness." I think Mamamontezz is going through the "change." (Hey, if she can be catty, so can I!)

Listen up, because I'm only going to say it once: The Divas Rock & Roll! I love them. They are charming, warm, friendly women. They have heart. They are intellectual and clever. They write about the things that you don't find Michelle Malkin blogging about. Yeah, they are all over current events too, but no disrespect to Malkin, she's not going to cover shaving and infidelity like the Divas do. I love Malkin too. But it is a different love than that I have for the Divas.

And that's another thing. The "Demystifying Divas" gave themselves the name as a joke. It has alliteration, sounds good, and the name sort of acts as a billboard for their topics. Simply put, they are demystifying women for the men out there. It is ridiculous to think that they are actually claiming divinity for themselves. There is more to the definition of 'diva' than divinity. Diva is a term used almost interchangeably with prima donna. On the other hand, it can also just be a woman with a strong opinion. This definition fits. If my blog was not Villains Vanquished, but "Straight from the Oval Office", and I called myself "Potus" instead of "Phoenix"...that doesn't mean I think I'm The President of the United States.

But the grumpy one can't see past the first definition. Go figure. As such, I thought I would provide a valuable service to her and let her in on a few poorly kept secrets in the same vein of the "they aren't really divas" argument she makes.

As such, I hereby assert that The Llama Butchers are neither llamas, nor butchers. Do they earn Mamamontezz's ire? The Noble Eagle does not actually have wings, though his can be predatory. The Womanmoose is not really a moose. The Galley Slaves are not actually enslaved. The Beatles were not insects, The Monkees were not actually monkeys.

Get over yourself, geesh.

Note to Kathy: I know you took the high road, but I just couldn't. She deserved worse for not having the decency of at least linking to you if she was going to badmouth you all. I'm not the kind of girl who sits idly by and lets people unfairly attack the people I care about. That's not the Villains Vanquished way. We call a spade a spade, a jerk a jerk, and a mean-spirit petty woman...well, you know. The blog kid had to get out her cutlass for you today. I hope you don't mind overmuch.

Zacharias Moussaoui may plead guilty!

Zacarias Moussaoui has notified the government that he intends to plead guilty
to his alleged role in the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks and could enter the
plea as early as this week if a judge finds him mentally competent, sources
familiar with the case said yesterday.

...

In recent letters to the government and to Brinkema, Moussaoui said he is willing to accept the possibility of a death sentence, which sources said could resolve a key point of contention: Prosecutors are unlikely to drop their insistence on capital punishment. If Brinkema accepts a plea, she would then probably set a death penalty trial, at which jurors would decide if Moussaoui should be executed.

Sometimes I think there should be a fate worse than death.

Joseph Ratzinger, the German Cardinal favored in the papal race, has been named the next pope. He has taken the name Benedict XVI.

Today is the 10th anniversary of the tragedy in Oklahoma City.

And that date, I believe, was chosen as the anniversary of the tragedy in Waco, TX.

The victims will never be forgotten. I still know exactly where I was on that horrible day.

I was at my sorority house, in my room curled up on my bed. That sounds weird, but I was sick. I had been sick for several days and later went to the Emergency Room. Had an ultrasound, and then my sister drove me home. I went to see a specialist, and then had laproscopic surgery (gall bladder removal). I was back at school in time for finals.

But that is entirely irrelevant. The fact of the matter is, at least two men planned this horrifying display...this mass homicide...to protest the government's actions at Waco. So essentially, they killed more innocent people to protest the killing of innocent people.

It didn't make a damn bit of sense. I hope they rot in hell. For eternity.

Dennis Rader, the suspect in custody for the so-called BTK killings in Kansas, has waived his right to a hearing today. By doing so, he concedes that Kansas has enough evidence to take him to trial for the murders of 10 Kansans beginning in the 1970s.

After two unsuccessful votes today, white smoke can be seen over Vatican City and bells are ringing to signal the election of a new pope.

No word yet on who or what his new name will be.

Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)
Black Betty had a child (Bam-ba-Lam)
The damn thing gone wild (Bam-ba-Lam)
She said, "I'm worryin' outta mind" (Bam-ba-Lam)
The damn thing gone blind (Bam-ba-Lam)
I said Oh, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)

The following are things I can't be bothered to care about:

1. Martha Stewart
2. The Michael Jackson Trial
3. ACLU protests of the Minuteman Project
4. Anything Nancy Pelosi has to say

Urg. I hates Mondays. Mondays suckses. Market go wheeeeee. All the way down.

Let's see, what news to report?

The conclave has begun. The first smoke to come out of the chimney was black, so in groundhog-esque fashion, there will be at least one more day of voting.

Lance Armstrong is taking his bike and going home after this year's Tour de France. He wants to spend more time with his kids.

Today is the anniversary of Paul Revere's famed ride. (h/t: Michelle Malkin). Here's an interesting little piece on that. Interestingly enough, my sister and I are eligible for membership in the DAR because of an ancestor back in my grandmother's family who worked either with or for Paul Revere. I forget. Anyway. I thought it was cool. And, it was one lantern, for those who get confused.

Ms. Ann Coulter of the pen that is so sharp as to frequently feel like a razor blade is featured on the cover of Time. The photo, though, makes her legs look freakishly long. The MSM message is: All Conservatives are Freaks. I don't care what she looks like, she writes a mean essay.

In a bit of news that I find humorous (though some may not) and will certainly appeal to the blog mama's love for stories about Germans...comes the revelation that depression has risen 70% among Berliners. The article blames the malaise on the German economy's ills, but I suspect that the number of those depressed in Deutchland would be far fewer if...say...the war in Iraq weren't going so well for us. Simply put, I believe that if more Americans were dying in splashy and terrorist-claimed acts of homicide, that the Germans would all be dancing in the hofbraus, doing pfennig checks and making the chump without one by the next round. I know, I know, it is an uncharitable opinion, but sue me. This is my blog.

Just wanted to say a quick hello to Kristy & Lori. We watched Desperate Housewives together last night and had a blast. It is eery how closely Wisteria Lane mirrors our own neighborhood. I had no trouble falling asleep (the wine was good) but did have some trouble getting out of bed this morning (also blaming the wine for this).

I think we should do this every Sunday. Something to break up the laundrey monotony.

Time for mea culpas, I guess.

Kathy was disappointed when I made this admission about my lack of appreciation of all things Zeppelin. However, having promised to rectify the situation, what else could I do but take some time and do some listening?

So I did.

And it was alright.

It turns out I actually have heard Led Zeppelin before, I just didn't know it. In all honesty, it brought to mind all of the Rush that my college roommate forced me to listen to.

So, having taken this trip, I will say that it was okay. I can appreciate the real artistry of the musicians and the compositions. However...they will never be a favorite of mine. I just didn't love it.

That's all I have to say about that.

How many five-year-olds can you take on at once?

The Decadent West Answers.

It is hilarious! You must read it. Go. Click now.

Personally, I could maybe take 10 if I had time to plan a strategy.

h/t: Cold Fury

I am pleased to announce that today I am wearing sandals for the first time this season.

My toes are polished and I've recently had a pedicure.

Would The Manolo approve, I wonder?

I hesitate to mention it, but I don't get the hoo-hah over ACDC or KISS, either.

Oh, and I absolutely DESPISE Celine Deion.

This story caught my eye this morning.

VANCOUVER -- Austrian businessmen Ferdinand Bloch-Bauer and Otto Pick
transferred ownership of their sugar refinery to a Swiss bank for safekeeping
shortly before fleeing the Nazis in March, 1938.

Months later, the bank actively co-operated in the sale of the Jewish businessmen's shares in the sugar refinery to a Nazi purchaser at a small fraction of their value and without the businessmen's consent.

After 67 years, the theft of the sugar refinery, which provided 20 per cent of Austria's sugar before the war, had become a piece of family folklore only vaguely remembered by some of the descendants.

But in a stinging rebuke of Swiss bankers during the Nazi era, a New York court has awarded $21.8-million (U.S.) this week to the heirs of the businessmen, including five children of prominent British Columbian Peter Bentley, chairman of timber giant Canfor Corp.

The award is the largest payment yet from a $1.25-billion (U.S.) fund set up by a consortium of Swiss banks for Holocaust victims.

"This award is merely a striking example of the widespread betrayal of Jewish clients by Swiss banks," says a report setting out reasons for the award. "Having marketed themselves to the Jews of Europe as a safe haven for their property, Swiss banks repeatedly turned Jewish-owned property over to Nazis in order to curry favour with them."

It is about freakin' time.

Read the rest, as they say.

Comes this story about how Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton are on the outs, and that Fox is looking for a new partner for Paris's Simple Life. What names come up? Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen.

It is either a sign of the apocalypse or the true sign I am officially OLD. I loath and despise Paris & Nicole and their so-called "Simple Life." I think they are offensive idiots and I could teach them more in 2 hours than they've learned in any of their stops along the roadway. Seriously! They are the opposite of poor white trash. They are rich trash - you'd think they could afford a little class.

Turns out they don't stock that at Armani, Bergdorf's, or Barney's.

My favorite part of the article:

Y'all wanna hear what's really scary? The two names most often bandied about as
replacements are (drum roll) Mary-Kate and Ashley, the Olsen twins. Yeah, like
they need the money. Take a look at the photo here, then picture the
Olsens the last time you saw a snap. I suspect the smallest item in the
budget would be the catering bill. You could feed the lot of 'em for a week with two White Castle sliders and a french fry.

(insert hysterical laughter here)

I have apparently let the blog mama down. This post upset her. She wonders if perhaps I was switched at birth with her real blog baby. So, thoroughly chastened, I will endeavor to listen to some Zeppelin this weekend. Call it a lesson in rock.

What convinced me that it was necessary? Not so much the fact that it gave Kathy the vapors, (the blog papa didn't seem too upset), but the fact that it was billed as good make-out music. I'm all about that. Oh yeah.

She is threatening to disown me, and I can't have that! I must inherit the Snarkdom of CakeEaterLand. It is my destiny.

So, like a princess must learn to "elbow-elbow, wrist-wrist" wave to the little people, I must learn Led Zeppelin.

Like the guy said, Can do.

(note to self: be very careful what you admit on the blog.)

Check out this cartoon at Cox & Forkum.

It wins our quote of the day for

"I got the BANDWIDTH, Baby."

I laughed and laughed.

"Blog Dirty to Me."

Priceless.

Labels: Cartoons

I wouldn't know Led Zeppelin if they knocked on my door.

I don't think I've ever heard "Stairway to Heaven."

So I don't know what all the fuss is about.

Only 92 Days to Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince!

I'm such a freak.

Labels: Harry Potter

Do you know the way to San Jose?
I'm going back to find some peace of mind in San Jose.

L.A. is a great big freeway.
Put a hundred down and buy a car.
In a week, maybe two, they'll make you a star
Weeks turn into years. How quck they pass
And all the stars that never were
Are parking cars and pumping gas

I am long overdue in calling my grandmother. She's in Kansas and I really should give her a call. I am a bad grand-daughter.

But today, with this beautiful weather we are having, I am struck with a bit of wistfulness for a simpler time. My grandmother is a feisty woman, yet charming too. She gardened, kept up with a chicken coop, helped on the farm, and got three hot meals on the table everyday for years. She raised two children and found time to make Barbie clothes for her grand-daughters' dolls.

I don't know how she did it all. I can barely find the time to keep up with my housework. I don't have children yet, and I don't have to plan an expedition to get groceries. What must it have been like for her at my age?

Don't get me wrong, I'm under no impression that it was iced-tea, skirts, and cake all of the time. I'm not attributing more romance to her life than is due. I know there was a lot of work to do. Hard work. I'm just a bit curious what it must have been like.

My grandfather (her husband) died while I was in college. He was the first person I ever knew that died. His death was difficult for me, but that is an entirely different post. No, I bring up my grandfather because he too was exceptionally busy. He was a school teacher. He also drove the "bus," coached and umpired the school games, and farmed. He was on the boards of a number of local cooperatives and brought phone service, electricity, and several grain elevators to the community.

I am just struck by how much more they accomplished than I have, and these are supposed to be more advanced times. Women are more empowered and higher up the corporate ladder. But do we accomplish as much?

I'm not sure that we do.

I wish I could be more like my grandmother sometimes. No doubt, she'll tell you to stuff your sorries in a sack if she feels it appropriate.

I should call her.

Yesterday after work, I turned on Special Report with Brit Hume. The panel was discussing why some of President Bush's appellate court nominations are meeting resistance in the Senate. As a matter of fact, Senate Democrats are denying these nominees a vote because they feel the judges are "extremists." So they do what they can.

This has always made me jumping mad. It isn't that I am opposed to a filibuster in general. They can be a valuable tool and a way to get your agenda out there. I am, however, offended at the tactics in this case. To me, judges are an integral part of law and justice. I simply don't feel that you should abandon any possibility of serving the noble and important goals of law and justice over petty political partisanship. At some point, you must get past the politics and govern. MAKE A DAMN DECISION! But Congress doesn't hold itself to this same standard. Nah. It is the Congressional equivalent of "i don' wanna and you can' make me! you're not the boss of me!", the petulant whining of a 4-year-old.

Is it possible that some of these judges are unsuitable? Of course. But if that is the case, vote "no." Then move on to the next nominee. Otherwise, you are just standing in the road. Don't obstruct justice by pulling a playground temper tantrum.

Taken another way, imagine this hypothetical circumstance:

I am upset with my current cable television provider. I feel that they are over-billing me, that the service and quality of reception are unsatisfactory, and that they are a substandard company. If I follow Congress's example, I would get rid of my cable and not replace it with something else, the replacements being equally subpar in some other way. So...no more television? No more 24-hour news?

This is ridiculous. Congress, the last time I checked, was inhabited by adults. I expect adults to fix problems, not just run around pointing fingers and screaming to talking heads. Frankly, I expect them to lead, follow, or get out of the damn way.

Noble Eagle weighs in on this too.

Do you know what I love about blogs? They are so clever. I've been snooping around the blogrolls and find that a few sites caught my attention just because of their names:

Cowboy Blob's Saloon, Barbeque Pit, and Shootin Gallery - Cowboy Blob has a strange love of ferrets, but other than that, he's alright. I'll be lurking there for a few days to see if he should get permanent linkage. (Dad, you would like this site.)

Pieces of Flair - a smart site that my sister will enjoy. It has two people posting, "Big M" and "Hippster in KC". It has Kansas news and more. They don't appear to pull any punches. Great name!

Musings from the Imperial Senate - How clever is that? I saw it and laughed out loud. It is written by DarthVOB. It hasn't been updated since February, but the last post up is funny...a harangue against the use of the word "whilst".

My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy - Beth is a girl I could definitely talk to. I'll be reading her for sure. She'll be going on the ol' blogroll.

Spiced Sass - I love this name. It conjures all sorts of things in my head. You know, not just sass, but spiced sass. That must be better! It is all about personality, right?

The Patriette - Blogging from Minnesota, this firebrand appears to love irony. She has at least some root hairs in Texas and blogs quite a bit about military matters. Check it out!

See what I mean? Cleverness abounds. I'll bringing more cleverness to your attention as I find it.

Michelle Malkin points out this story by the Gateway Pundit of a Saudi Princess who abuses her domestic staff.

Go read it. It is horrifying.

This post by Chrenkoff had me chuckling this morning. Go read it!

It is all about Slick Willy's response to Finkelstein's "Stop Her Now" anti-HRC campaign.

Apparently, Clinton felt the need to publicly out Finkelstein's sexual preference as a way to mitigate whatever credibility and traction the campaign might have. Chrenkoff, in his rapier style, thrusts right to the heart of these tactics:

Clinton, of course, can't point his finger and just say "he's a homosexual"
because these things are only supposed to matter to those homophobic
Republicans, and he can't say "he's a Republican homosexual" because that would
be a bit too tacky and too obvious, but he can always say "he's a self-loathing
homosexual", which 1) has the advantage of saying "he's a Republican homosexual"
(yeeks!) without actually saying it, 2) aims to discredit Finkelstein in the
eyes of those "bigoted right-wingers", 3) for those on your own side who worship
"authenticity", it indicates the biggest sin of all - fakiness, and 4) since all
real homosexuals are left-wing, it casts Finkelstein in the role of a sell-out,
betrayer and a renegade - an Uncle Tom (coming soon, a new classic of American
literature: "Uncle Tom's Log Cabin Republicans").

In the new Democrat strategy book you no longer need to kill the messenger, you only have to out him.

You should be reading Chrenkoff everyday.

"From time to time, you come across a case with very unique — even bizarre — circumstances," Aaron said. "This one probably rates right up there with them."

This was said by a Nashville Police spokesman regarding that case where a woman kept her lover in the closet as a way to keep the relationship a secret from her husband. And when I say "in the closet" that is not a euphemism. He was living in her and her husband's home, in the closet, next to the spare coathangers and other closet detritus. He lived there for a month!

Apparently, living in a closet can push one to the edge. This story ended in violence.

Nashville police spokesman Don Aaron said Rafael DeJesus Rocha-Perez of
Murfreesboro, Tenn., was charged with criminal homicide in the beating death of
Jeffrey A. Freeman, 44, and ordered held on $500,000 bail.

...

Jeffrey Freeman discovered Rocha-Perez late Sunday night when he came home and heard him snoring, police said.

Freeman told his wife he was taking a walk and instructed her to get rid of Rocha-Perez before he returned, the Nashville Tennessean reported. Instead, when he returned Rocha-Perez ordered him into a bathroom at gunpoint and beat him about the head, the newspaper said.

Am I the only one flabbergasted by this story?

The people of Wisconsin have spoken. Voting results from last night's DNR meetings on the subject show that the people of Wisconsin approve the measure. The results, however, are not binding. In fact,

The prospect of feral cat hunting has more hurdles to clear — and faces the
considerable opposition of a number of national animal rights groups. The Humane
Society of the United States called the proposal cruel and archaic.

The DNR would have to ask the Legislature to support the change. Lawmakers would have to then pass a bill, and Democratic Gov. Jim Doyle would have to sign it.

South Dakota and Minnesota already have similar laws on the books.

It seems the Eagle has landed. Noble Eagle had taken a small break from blogging due to having surgery and homework, but he is back at his perch this morning bringing us goodies.

Case in point, this post, about what Dick Morris had to say about HRC and another Clinton presidency recently.

Welcome Back! We missed you.

Brit is preggers. The tabloids had it days ago, but she has admitted it.

The father, Federline, is a real bum, in my opinion. His girlfriend was still pregnant with his second child when he hooked up with Britney. But then, pop princesses probably don't come on to him everyday.

He still makes my skin crawl.

You can now see on the blogroll the newly updated sites. They will have "en garde" next to them. If they have been updated in the past hour, you will see the signal.

Kathy turned me on to this feature. (She has little pieces of cake next to her blogrollees who are recently updated.) Thanks, Mama.

You know that thing I keep teasing you with? The one I can't talk about? Well, I'm going to fill you in a bit, although I will still maintain a tight hold on the details, 'cause I'm sposta.

I am being courted...for a new job. I have been told by the hiring party that I am their first choice. And, I am interested because the position entails actually using my brain for a change. The problem is, relocation is a big part of the equation. That means uprooting Prince Charming and finding him a new job too.

The benefits are significant, but let's just say that my brain, ambition, and ego would be significantly better fed. I would be running two departments instead of merely consuming oxygen like I am now. We would have to sell the house. I would have to leave my kitchen. Egads. My lovely designer kitchen that I fought with husband, builder, and cabinet guy to get my way. Prince Charming's family and my own would not be as convenient to visit, but I'm not sure this is a bad thing, if you know what I mean.

It is just so wonderful to be wanted and desired professionally. It is a real charge to the ol' self confidence. Anyway, if I seem distracted or posting is light...figure I'm busy with other things for a while.

Of course, if we are able to come to an agreement on the pesky details...my blogging habits may have to change.

I've got the blahs. Nothing really needs my commentary today.

The indomitable, charming, and vivacious divas are demystifying the allure of the bad boy today. You know me, I have to chime in with my own twenty-five cents (adjusted for inflation).

The fact of the matter is, most girls do go through a bad boy phase. I believe it is because these women seek an escape from their very goodness. We are taught from birth to be good and ladylike, gentle, passive, and sweet. We get to a certain age and we seek to rebel against these constraints. We run to the most reasonable source of danger: the bad boy.

Bad Boys come in all shapes and sizes. They can be the guy on the motorcycle wearing black leather. They can be the brooding outsider cloaked in mystery. They can be the guy who drives too fast and leads a secret life. But the thing that we find appealing is the danger, the mystery, and the opportunity to wear those same adjectives ourself, at least for a while. Some women enjoy being mistreated. Strange but true. But, not all bad boys are violent. They usually are emotionally unavailable, and this too we find intriguing. He is the fish that can't quite be caught. You can get him in the boat, but you'll never get him in the fry pan. He is a challenge we can't resist, a project, and yes, even an opportunity to prove ourselves. We see the tortured soul beneath that rough and tumble exterior. He calls to us like a siren. We want to love him.

Inevitably though, the bad boy allure fades. We get past that desire and we move on to Mr. Right. Thank goodness!

But, what the topic misses is the fact that men too get this affliction. Men like bad girls just as much as women like bad boys. Face it! It is true. In high school, 98% of my friends were boys. And they all chased after the girls that were mean to them. Mean and nasty. Dangerous, loose moraled girls. Men like bitchy women maybe, I don't know. Maybe the Men's Club can answer and explain this phenomenon. I only want it pointed out that women are not alone in this affliction.

Turn signals are not optional. I realize that some of you are incredibly lazy, but flicking on the turn signal to signal your intentions is not going to sprain your wrist or burn an excessive number of calories. In fact, it can add to the safety of all on the roads. And I'm not just talking about those of us behind your sorry ass. The people coming toward you want to know if you intend to turn in front of them.

Come on. You can do it. Flick the lever. That's right! Now, was that so hard?

Use your turn signals people. You are driving (ha ha) me crazy.

Do the Hustle!

doot doot doot do doot do doot doo do

Do you know what I despise?

Cowards.

Cowards Suck Donkey.

Take for example, the Villains Vanquished Villain Of The Day:

As regular readers are aware, last Thursday I hosted a meeting of my neighbors for the purposes of trying to get the neighborhood informed of the facts so that the group of us could make an informed decision regarding whether or not to start a neighborhood association. The meeting was non-confrontational. No allegations were made, no fingers pointed. It was a everybody's welcome, friendly environment. We discussed how to get the information out to our neighbors. We discussed sending out an informational letter and following up with another meeting. I drafted the letter and read it to the people at the meeting. They agreed that it was non-confrontational, not offensive, and above-board about the facts. I made a few additions to the letter at the requests of the others, and planned to mail the thing out this week with a list of the people who had signed/endorsed the information campaign.

But, lo and behold, I return on Sunday from our weekend away and find the neighborhood in an uproar. Some individual who attended the meeting...an invited guest...distributed an unsigned (poorly written) letter to all of our neighbors. The coward told those not at the meeting that the committee planned to tell people how to cut their hair and raise their kids. He suggested that we felt superior to the others, and wanted to tell them what to do with their quarter of a million dollar homes. Essentially, he called us Nazis and suggested that we were going to steal money from the other homeowners and misappropriate it.

Charming!

What a jerk! I am so angry I can't even see straight! I'd like to stake this guy out on an anthill and pour corn syrup on his private parts! I have the decency to not be bitchy, but diplomatic, donate my time, home, and culinary efforts, and what do I get? An anonymous bitchslap that amounts to little more than libel. F*** him or her! F*** 'em!

I am one pissed off mother, I tell you. I could kick a puppy!

If you do not have the balls to sign your scurrilous accusations, perhaps you ought not put them in writing! Scum-sucking, mouth-breathing troll!


(yeah, I realize the irony of me ranting about this on an anonymous blog.)

"Stay away from
Jazz & Liquor
And the men who
Play for Fun."

Courtesy of The TechnoChitlins:

The Corner Rifle.

h/t: The Llamabutchers

Prince Charming and I are driving to Southern Illinois this afternoon.

I can't tell you any more than that. Top Secret stuff.

But, I'm certainly not looking forward to the six hours in the car.

That's for darn sure.

I've got a skull splitting headache.

Must get meself to the advil.

Take the weekly quiz.

I got an 80%. I take the quiz every week, just testing myself.

But then, I have lots of free time.

I thought I'd update you on this post.

"Lisa" is an even bigger b!tch in person. But, she did come to the meeting, so that is something. Of course, she subjected us all to her b!tchiness, so she didn't exactly make any friends or influence anybody.

The family on the corner that everybody despises? Met the mom last nite. Holy rigid dictator! From the way she behaved...I must be honest...I would expect her children to be little automatons, but clearly that isn't the case. Maybe she lacks an enforcer.

And the asshat on the hill who loves the Packers? He took the display down. He took it down! This is real progress! I mean, it has been up for over 2 years! I am encouraged. However, at the meeting last night, he never said a word. (The meeting was in my home.) Not 'hello', 'goodbye', or 'boo!'

But nobody got shot at the meeting, so I'm counting it as a success.

Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement.

You made my day!

This post by the perfect blog mama made me laugh.

My favorite part:

This action, to put it quite bluntly, is disgusting. Do you get it, ladies? Your
heels are disgusting! You may think they're not that bad, but trust me, they
are! I don't want to see it. I really, really don't. I doubt men do, either. If
your feet repulse you; if they bring to mind the "To The Pain" speech from The Princess Bride because you're afraid that someone is going to scream, "Dear God, what is that thing?" you probably shouldn't be wearing sandals or mules, no? I'm sure The Manolo he would agree with me.

Girls - get thee to the salon, you'll feel better and look better!

From Kath, natch.

Only this one made me feel like I've never done anything even remotely dangerous or exciting.

Behold...

Have you ever:

( ) snuck out of the house
( ) gotten lost in your city
(X) saw a shooting star
(X) been to any other countries besides the United States
(X) had a serious surgery
(X) gone out in public in your pajamas
(X) kissed a stranger (he kissed me, but it was Bid Night, so I’m not sure it counts)
(X) hugged a stranger
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) been arrested
( ) done drugs
(X) had alcohol
( ) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
(X) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
( ) made out in an elevator
( ) slept in an elevator
( ) swore at your parents
( ) kicked a guy where it hurts (No, but I have considered it.)
(X) been in love
(X) been close to love
( ) been to a casino
( ) been skydiving
( ) broken a bone
( ) been high
( ) skinny-dipped
( ) skipped school
( ) flashed someone
(X) saw a therapist (sort of)
(X) done the splits
(X) played spin the bottle (but never got kissed)
( ) gotten stitches (X) had an IV (after I passed out at the gym. Dehydrated. Very embarrassing.)
( ) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
(X) bitten someone (I choose not to elaborate)( ) been to Niagara Falls
(X) gotten the chicken pox
(X) kissed a member of the opposite sex
( ) kissed a member of the same sex
( ) crashed into a friend's car
( ) been to Japan
(X) ridden in a taxi
(X) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) had a crush on someone of the same sex
(X) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
(X) stole something from your job
(X) gone on a blind date (night from hell)
(X) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated Mardi-Gras in New Orleans
(X) been to Europe
(X) slept with a co-worker (He later became my husband.)
(X) been married
( ) gotten divorced
( ) had children
( ) saw someone die
( ) been to Africa
(X) driven over 400 miles in one day (Many times.)
( ) been to Canada
(X) been to Mexico (Cancun, Cozumel, Peurto Vallarta)
(X) been on a plane
( ) seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of yourself on fire
( ) eaten sushi (can’t get past the idea. Sorry)
( ) been snowboarding
( ) met someone in person from the internet
( ) been moshing at a rock show
( ) cut yourself on purpose
( ) been to a moto cross show (No, but I have been to a rodeo)
( ) lost a child (in either sense of the word)
(X) gone to college
(X) graduated from college
( ) done hard drugs
(X) taken painkillers (codeine after I had my wisdom teeth removed, and just prior to my surgery)
(X) love someone or miss someone right now

Labels: Meme Time

I have a question for your regular feature or it may be better served as a Wednesday topic that all y’all chime in on.

To wit: What do you ladies make of the phenomenon known as work-husbands and work-wives?

I refer to the close relationship two co-workers of the opposite sex can develop. Two equals in the work force; peers, who are simpatico confidants, co-conspirators, and staunch boardroom supporters of each other.

I have had a work-husband in the past. To this day we have a fantastic friendship and respect each other greatly. Our relationship was never sexual, not even remotely. We were both involved with other people. Did we flirt? Yeah. But always harmless stuff and never serious.

We were attracted to each other cerebrally. (For his part, he has admitted feelings of a deeper and more complicated nature, but he never acted on them, for fear of damaging our mutual professional admiration and close relationship. I’ve only ever held him in esteem professionally.)

And yet, people always suspected that something was going on. There were rumors – all baseless and false. I don’t hold myself to other people’s opinions. I always acted professionally and my conscience is clear. But I wonder about the phenomenon and what you ladies might have to say on the matter. Does having a serious relationship like a work-husband make me a tramp? My behavior is irreproachable, I feel, but what do you think?